


One of the Family

by Rachel500



Series: Finding Family [16]
Category: Airwolf
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Ghosts, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-23
Updated: 2009-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-20 01:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel500/pseuds/Rachel500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Hawke battles his personal demons, old enemies emerge to threaten his family...</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of the Family

**Author's Note:**

> Airwolf is somebody else's, probably Universal's or Bellisarius', and I freely admit that whoever's it is, I'm borrowing their show and they retain all rights, etc.

Airwolf streaked through the open sky with a howl. A deadly black and white creature; sleek lines and powerful rotors cutting through the wispy clouds like a knife through the butter. There was a scream of engines as she ascended until the ground was far below her.

Stringfellow Hawke brought Airwolf to a hover. In his biased opinion, there was nothing like flying the original Airwolf helicopter; a perfect symmetry between man and machine. While the models had been updated, ostensibly improved with faster, quicker technology and innovations as the years had passed, and the two current Airwolf class helicopters in operation were fierce in both design and execution, Hawke would always have a soft spot for the decommissioned original he had once flown with his late mentor, Dominic Santini. Every so often, he would take Airwolf out of storage and stretch her wings. The artificial intelligence the original machine had developed, and which existed in a virtual computer environment he didn't fully understand, often came with him.

Hawke let the familiarity of the sound and feel of her unknot the muscles in his body. He wasn't as young as he used to be; age was beginning to catch up with his reflexes and his appearance. Each day seemed to bring more grey streaks in amongst the mink brown of his short hair; his boyish face had been marked with faint lines. His body was in good shape; he exercised regularly and his mainly vegetarian and fish diet was healthy enough to maintain his weight. But it was the guarded blue eyes that gave away his years more than anything. The stormy depths hinted too much at the pain Hawke had endured; the years spent mourning parents he had thought he had lost in a terrible boating accident; years searching for Saint John, his older MIA brother despite the odds, and retreating in the face of loss after loss to hide in a mountain cabin.

Not that his life was filled anymore with the angst that had marked his childhood and most of his years as a man. He had found his family again; first, Saint John had returned home. They'd struggled initially to understand why Saint John had stayed away so long; what he had put Hawke through in the years of not knowing. But they had been reunited and once they were together, they had begun to realise that their parents may not have died and began to search for them. They'd found their mother and father hiding in witness protection believing their older sons had died in the boating accident. His parents had added two more children to the family, Seb, and Sarah who had her own son, Chris.

But it wasn't so much the family he had found that had saved him as the one he had built. He had married Caitlin O'Shaunessy thirteen years before after their friendship had turned into something deeper. He loved her so completely that he often wondered that he'd allowed his self-doubt and fears over losing someone else he loved to keep them apart for so long. Motherhood had added some curves to her once boyish figure but the feisty, smart, independent redhead he had fallen for was very much the same woman.

Their children, eleven year old Nicky and ten year old Amelia, were the light of Hawke's life. Both were unique and special. Nicky had inherited his looks but he was a gregarious, sociable young boy with a circle of close friends and his mother's temper. Amelia was more introverted, even-tempered and musical; she was smart as a whip. They were both good kids; doing well at school, ambitious. Nicky wanted to be an Air Force pilot; Amelia wanted to be a musician. He figured they'd both succeed. He was proud of them.

It wasn't just his own close knit unit though that Hawke considered family; Michael Coldsmith-Briggs III and his wife, Marella, were close friends along with their twenty-two year old daughter, Angelina. They still ran the Airwolf project; still excelled when embroiled in the grey of politics and spy machinations but the couple were a solid part of his and Caitlin's life.

Mike Rivers, Saint John's best friend, and Hawke's old flying partner in Airwolf, had also become part of the family. He was engaged to Sarah and the couple would marry in a few weeks. They had been together a couple of years and while Hawke could admit to himself he'd had his doubts, Mike had proven he was in it for the long haul.

The wedding would bring back Jo Santini from Italy for the first time in two years. She had reverted to her maiden name after her divorce from Saint John. The couple's marriage hadn't survived the death of their daughter, Bella. Hawke had mixed feelings about her return. He loved Jo like she was a second kid sister, Dom had raised them together after all, but he was angry at her for walking out on his brother and he wasn't certain that Saint John needed to be hurt all over again when she showed up.

Still, Hawke mused, as he shifted position, easing back in the worn seat to stare blindly out at the blue sky, it wasn't Jo's return that had driven him to seek out Airwolf for a spin; it was his marriage.

Just the admission in his head made his stomach churn uneasily.

Marriages took work. He knew that. And he knew that all couple inevitably went through good and bad times. He'd just somewhere, somehow along the way, fallen into the belief that he and Caitlin were immune from the usual marital ups and downs. Sure, they argued occasionally but they rarely disagreed over anything serious. Unfortunately, thanks to the last few days of near silence from his wife, Hawke was ready to admit that there was no denying that they'd hit a rough patch.

Hawke sighed and took Airwolf into a dive. He kept low, travelling over the landscape at mach speed.

He let his mind wander. He understood why Caitlin was so upset with him. He'd missed an important first night performance of Amelia's piano recital. He'd made the second performance, spent time alone with Amelia to make up for his absence, but while his daughter had forgiven him, Caitlin had not. She didn't agree with his reasons for missing the recital.

' _You missed your daughter's recital because you wanted to play hero; because you had to be there for Lydia Armstrong and wouldn't let someone else handle it.' Caitlin's eyes regarded him with disappointment. 'You couldn't even call?'_

Hawke shifted in his seat at the memory. She hadn't been angry. In some ways, he might have been able to simply dismiss it if she had; put it down to jealousy over his decision to stay with a distraught Lydia who was going through a tough time with her ex.

No.

Caitlin wasn't angry; she was disappointed in him. Moreover she was disappointed in Hawke's performance as a father, as a husband. And _that_ had left him reeling.

He sighed. He wasn't even sure why he'd stayed with Lydia. She had been the best friend of Polly Callaghan, his late fiancée and childhood sweetheart. Polly had tragically been killed in a car accident just before Hawke had shipped out to 'Nam. He hadn't stayed in touch with Lydia – had barely remembered the shy mousy shadow that used to follow Polly around. But she'd turned up working at Red Star as an engineer a few months before.

The smart blonde woman had introduced herself and smiled when he looked at her blankly, gently prompting his memory and waving away his apology when he had realised who she was. She admitted shyly she'd undergone something of a makeover since her younger days and Hawke could see it in the stylish clothing, trim body and groomed appearance. She was an attractive woman. She even reminded him a little of Polly who had been a typical Californian girl – blonde, tanned, carefree.

Caitlin had even welcomed her warmly when Hawke had introduced them; they'd invited Lydia to the cabin, had dinner, and exchanged old stories. Everything had been fine. But about a month or so before Lydia's ex had seemingly started stalking her. Lydia had finally asked for Hawke's help and he'd gone with her to confront the guy only to find he'd skipped out on his motel. The guy had been giving Lydia a hard time since.

The night of the recital, Lydia's apartment had been broken into and wrecked. She'd called Hawke in a panic just as he'd been about to leave work to head for the cabin. He'd diverted to Lydia's apartment, talked her into calling the police, stayed with her. By the time the dust had settled, he'd missed the recital.

He could have called. Both he and Caitlin had cell phones courtesy of the Airwolf programme. But he hated them, wasn't used to them; he'd had his switched off and he'd forgotten about it. When he had remembered, the long list of missed calls and messages from his wife had stirred up a whole new set of guilt.

Hawke frowned as he checked his coordinates. He was only five minutes off the old Lair. He detoured, lowering Airwolf down into the funnel and landing gently on the dusty floor, sending clouds of it billowing into the dark, empty spaces. He switched off the engines and powered down before he removed his helmet.

The silence was almost deafening. He looked out into the cave and felt his chest tighten with unexpected emotion. The place was full of ghosts...or rather one in particular; Dom. He blinked back the tears that stung his eyes and leaned back in the seat.

He missed the man who'd raised him with a rawness that felt as though Dom had died the day before and not twelve years since. Sometimes it seemed his grief got worse with time not better. He sighed heavily and allowed the memories to wash over him...

Dom stroking Airwolf's nose and cooing to her like she was a baby...

Dom's laugh bellowing out and lighting the gloom with its joie de vivre...

Dom's hand, a comforting weight on his shoulder...his presence in Airwolf a familiar security...

Hawke shook the memories away. Damn. He wished Dom was with him; he could do with some of the older man's homespun wisdom. As much as he'd gotten closer to his folks since they'd been reunited, he still felt awkward confiding in them. He automatically ruled out Seb and Sarah; they were a heck of a lot younger than him and being raised separately during their childhood years had left a distance that Hawke felt even if Saint John had seemed to bridge the gap.

His older brother might have been an option – they'd long ago managed to get past Saint John's years of absence – but Hawke knew his brother was still reeling from his divorce; still struggling to cope with the loss of Bella. He didn't need Hawke dumping all his problems on him.

Michael might have been an alternative; the spy was his best friend and they'd shared a lot over the years. But Hawke was too aware that Michael and importantly, Marella, were also Caitlin's friends and he didn't want to put them in the middle of it.

Which is why he sat in a cave on his own trying to understand what the hell was going on, Hawke mused despondently; it almost felt like old times.

So what the hell _was_ going on?

Hawke ran a hand through his short cropped hair. The immediate problem wasn't the whole story; he knew that much. The recital had been the final straw for Caitlin in a succession of family stuff that he'd missed because of the situation with Lydia. He grimaced. Why had he gotten so involved with her?

It wasn't attraction; it wasn't even old friendship – they hadn't been that close back in the days he'd been engaged to Polly. Lydia's situation was awful for her and he felt for her, she was clearly frightened of the guy, but he wasn't sure what had compelled him to try and handle it on his own. Hell, Caitlin had even offered after the first incident to have Lydia stay at the cabin for a while and _he_ had refused...

He'd wanted to keep his family safe, Hawke argued with himself. He'd wanted to keep them out of it and away from any danger.

' _You've been pushing us – me – away for months, String.'_ Caitlin's words darted through his head like lightening. _'You don't want to talk about anything not even this thing with Lydia when we could help track this guy down – or maybe you don't want to question her story at all?'_ Her eyes had glimmered with hurt. _'You barely look at me and you don't touch me unless we're in bed.'_

' _Are you accusing me of cheating?'_ His own voice had given away his incredulity that that's exactly what she had thought.

Her reply had been sad. _'Just talk to me.'_

Only he hadn't; he'd stormed out, taking his dog Bit for a long walk on the mountain. They'd hardly exchanged two words since.

Hawke squirmed in the seat and in a rush, pushed open the door and jumped out, pacing across the floor to stand in the darkness.

What was going on with him? Why was he pushing her away? He didn't mean to – did he?

His heart pounded in his chest.

His Dad had suffered a heart attack just before Lydia had showed up. It had been mild; a reminder, the doctor had said, that his father wasn't a young man and needed to slow down. But for twenty-four hours it had been scary especially seeing the fear on his Mom's face, on his brothers' and sister's.

Hawke sat down on a rock and gazed back at Airwolf. A thin shaft of evening sunlight bathed her in warm amber. A memory filtered through his head; Dom questioning him over Caitlin's decision to head back to Texas for a vacation...a week of walking around on eggshells with each other because she'd seen him vulnerable and comforted him...because he'd nearly given into the impulse to kiss her...

' _Kid, when you put space between you and someone, you put real space.'_

Dom's voice echoed in his head.

Was that what he'd been doing since his father's stay in hospital? Putting space between him and Caitlin?

Probably.

And not just Caitlin but his whole family; his parents, his siblings...his children...

Hawke swore roundly. It was disconcerting to realise that he had fallen into an old pattern of behaviour he'd thought he'd managed to banish with his years of marriage and family.

The scare with his Dad had brought everything back, Hawke realised chagrined; all of his past with loss after loss. Lydia showing up and reminding him about Polly had just reinforced that. Somehow he'd let his old fears of losing the people he loved sneak back in and he'd spent the last three months pushing everyone away from him.

Lydia's situation with her ex had been his camouflage – an easy excuse he could use to hide behind so he could avoid being with the people he loved. Caitlin had been right; he hadn't done anything to really help Lydia by asking for Michael's assistance to track the guy down, or remove Lydia from where her ex seemed to know she lived. He'd used Lydia to avoid his wife.

The truth sat like a lump of concrete in his belly.

' _You'll make it up to her.'_

Dom's old advice drifted through his head and he wondered as the light faded exactly how he did that.

It was late by the time Hawke returned to Red Star. The control tower welcomed him back and he manoeuvred Airwolf into her hangar with a sigh. He wasn't surprised to see Michael waiting for him. The spy was nonchalantly sat on a chair by an old work bench, dressed as always in a white three piece suit with his legs outstretched in front of him and his ubiquitous cane resting across his lap. Hawke stepped out of Airwolf and made his way over to his friend.

Michael pointed his cane at him. 'You're late.'

Hawke shrugged. 'Sorry I missed curfew.'

The expected sarcasm had Michael's lips twitching as he got to his feet. 'Caitlin called.'

Another frisson of guilt curdled in his gut. 'She OK?'

'Worried about you.' Michael said succinctly. His hand caressed the silver handle of his cane as his good eye met Hawke's guarded gaze before flickering to Airwolf. 'Good flight?'

Hawke looked back at the old helicopter. 'Yeah.' He sighed and turned back to his friend. 'Michael, Lydia Armstrong...'

'What about her?' Michael asked mildly.

'I need you to track down her ex, Drew Henman.' Hawke explained. 'He's been hassling her; phone calls, threatening gifts. He wrecked her apartment a couple of nights ago.'

Michael stroked his white moustache. 'I'll look into it.' He tapped his cane on the concrete floor. 'Is there a reason why this is the first time I'm hearing about it?'

'She didn't want anyone to know.' Hawke lifted a shoulder, unwilling to explain why he'd gone along with that. 'But if he's escalating...'

'You want me to take care of warning him off?' Michael offered.

Hawke wrestled with the urge to say no. He nodded briskly. 'That would be good.' He rocked back on his heels and took a breath. 'You think you could get Mike to fill in for me tomorrow on the test flight for the new ship with Seb and Angelina?' He figured he needed to spend some time with his wife.

Michael's eyebrows shot up but he nodded. 'Sure.'

'Thanks.' Hawke patted his arm in response and made to leave.

'Hawke.'

Michael's worried voice halted Hawke at the door. Hawke turned back around inquisitively.

'You and Caitlin...' Michael grimaced but he continued anyway, 'are you OK?'

Hawke's lips tightened momentarily and his grip on the door grew painful before he allowed himself to nod. 'We will be.'

\---

The morning sun peeked through the windows and flooded the room with light. Hawke felt the warmth of the rays on his bare skin as he shifted into consciousness. He opened his eyes and smiled at the woman snuggled firmly against him.

Caitlin's red hair was spread out over the pillow but her face was buried in the crook of his neck; her arm was wrapped around his waist. One of his arms was equally tight around hers.

She was breathing deeply, and he kept still for a long while unwilling to wake her. He'd felt the same way when he'd arrived home to find his family already turned in for the night, Caitlin fast asleep in their bed. He'd crawled in beside her and held her. The stress he'd put her through was evident in the dark patches under her eyes, the faint trace of tears on her cheeks. She needed the rest, Hawke mused. And he could wait to make his explanations and apologies.

Faint sounds drifted through the closed bedroom door; water running in the downstairs' bathroom, cupboards being opened in the kitchen and crockery banging onto surfaces: the kids were up.

Hawke dropped a soft kiss on Caitlin's bare shoulder before he untangled himself slowly, careful not to disturb her. He made quick work of his own ablutions in the en suite shower room to their master bedroom. He was slightly surprised Caitlin hadn't stirred when he re-entered the bedroom to dress but as he dragged on jeans and an old blue sweater, he determined it gave him an opportunity to make her breakfast in bed – to begin to make it up to her.

He made sure he was quiet as he let himself out of the bedroom and headed down the stairs to the living area. Amelia was sprawled in front of the hearth; her eyes glued to the pages of a book as she absently spooned cereal into her mouth. She barely looked up as Hawke greeted her.

Nicky was in the kitchen; t-shirt over his pyjama bottoms – his athletic body beginning to show the first hints of the man he'd one day grow into. Hawke's eyes caught on the tray his son was preparing; clearly they'd had the same idea.

'Hey.' Hawke greeted Nicky and nodded at the tray. 'That for your Mom?'

Nicky nodded but he didn't speak and turned away from Hawke.

Hawke frowned. 'Nicky?'

His son spun around, blue eyes flashing with anger. 'She was crying last night. I heard her.'

The words drove the breath from his body as surely as though Nicky had punched him. 'Nicky...'

'Are you and Mom getting a divorce like Uncle Saint John?' Amelia interrupted from her place across the room. Her green eyes were filled with trepidation. 'Are you going to marry that lady Lydia?'

The question drove the breath from Hawke's body. God. Hawke wet his lips, unsure how he handled the mess he'd evidently made.

'You are, aren't you?' Nicky sounded completely disgusted and as he made to push past Hawke to get out of the kitchen, Hawke caught hold of his shoulder. His son struggled against his grip.

'Hey, quit it.' Hawke ordered brusquely as he pushed Nicky onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar. He gestured for Amelia to sit in one of the others and she reluctantly padded across to join them.

Hawke moved back around and looked both of his children in the eye. 'Your Mom and I are not getting a divorce and I am not having an affair with Lydia.'

Amelia and Nicky exchanged a silent look.

'I take it you two have been talking about this?' Hawke said trying to catch up with his kids' train of thought.

Nicky shifted on the stool but he looked back at his father defiantly. 'We notice stuff and you haven't been around a whole lot lately.'

'I know.' Hawke admitted honestly. 'But that doesn't mean I've been cheating on your Mom. I love her; I would never do that to her.' He sighed as he forced himself to continue. 'I'm sorry the two of you have been hurt because I haven't been around.'

Amelia slipped off her stool and walked around the breakfast bar to hug him. 'I forgive you, Daddy.' She said quietly.

He hauled her against him and kissed the top of her auburn head. He glanced up at Nicky.

His son regarded him with a hard look; arms folded tightly over his t-shirt and chin set at a stubborn angle Hawke recognised all too well. 'You going to make it up to Mom?'

'I am.' Hawke confirmed.

Nicky nodded slowly. 'Don't fuck it up.'

He was off the stool and storming away to his bedroom before Hawke could retort and complain about the swearing or the sentiment. Hawke let out a slow breath and pushed the nudge of anger at Nicky away. His son had a right to be stewed at him and a right to be protective about his mother.

Amelia gave him a squeeze and slipped away from him. 'I'll go talk to Nicky.' She wandered off after her brother and Hawke watched her bemused, wondering when she'd grown up enough to take on the responsibility of calming down her older brother.

He really had screwed up, Hawke mused sadly. His eyes alighted again on the breakfast tray Nicky had started preparing and he focused on finishing it. Once he'd straightened everything out with his wife, they'd talk about how they he could put things right with the kids. Maybe some quality time together as a family; the kids only had another week of school before the summer break so maybe after they could go somewhere...

Hawke lifted the tray and made his way back upstairs. He pushed open the bedroom door and stopped at the sight of the empty bed. He frowned as he heard the distinctive sound of vomiting and shoved the tray onto a side table before he hurried into the bathroom.

Caitlin was slumped in front of the toilet, throwing up; her thin shoulders shook and he could see tears threatening in her eyes. He pulled her dressing gown from the hook and covered her with it, rubbing her arms and back as he held her through another bout of heaves.

If he didn't know better he'd think she was pregnant; she'd suffered with morning sickness carrying Nicky and Amelia. But the doctor had informed them their chances of conceiving again were slim due to the amount of internal scarring Caitlin had suffered, that it would be dangerous for her to conceive again, and while she had been unwilling to let him take a final step of a vasectomy or put herself through a tubal ligation, they'd been on contraceptives as soon as Amelia moved onto solid food. No, thought Hawke concerned, the sickness was probably food poisoning or a tummy bug.

Caitlin finally stilled and Hawke left her momentarily to rinse a washcloth out before he returned to her side and washed her face gently. He helped her up and she made for the sink, swaying a little and holding into the porcelain as he silently handed her a toothbrush with toothpaste smeared on the bristles. He cleaned up the toilet while she brushed away the taste of bile, finishing just in time to walk her back into the bedroom and usher her into bed.

'I thought you were going in today for the test run.' Caitlin said, climbing back under the covers without protest.

'I asked Michael to get Mike to fill in.' Hawke explained. He sat down beside her, placed a hand on her forehead and tried not to notice the way she was avoiding his gaze.

She noticed the tray and frowned. 'What's that?' She asked tiredly.

'Breakfast.' Hawke admitted. 'Although I'm thinking I'll go get you some tea and toast instead.'

Caitlin grimaced. 'Probably a good idea.'

'You're not warm.' He muttered, lowering his hand. 'I'll call the doctor.'

'String.' Caitlin snagged his hand when he went to move away. 'There's no need for a doctor.' She bit her lip, her eyes pinned somewhere over his shoulder. 'I'm pregnant.'

Hawke stared at her. That wasn't possible...it just wasn't possible. 'What?'

She let go of his hand and he immediately took hold of hers again. It surprised her into looking at him.

'You're pregnant.' Hawke repeated.

She nodded slowly. 'Two months.'

Hawke flinched and dropped his gaze. Two months. She'd been pregnant two months; all the time he had been pushing her away and she had been pregnant.

'I didn't even realise myself until recently and I've only known for certain a little while.' Caitlin murmured as though she'd read his mind.

Hawke raised his head and grimaced. 'Since the day of the recital.' He realised. It explained why she'd been so upset with him; why she'd pushed him on his behaviour.

Caitlin sighed. 'It was just bad timing all round.'

'You're OK?' Hawke asked, his thumb rubbing along the back of her knuckles.

'I'm OK; the baby's OK.' She pulled a face. 'This is the first time I've been sick.'

'Cait,' Hawke's hold on her hand tightened, 'the doctor said it was dangerous for you to get pregnant again and...' her hand on his cheek stopped him.

'I'm OK.' Caitlin grimaced. 'She's advising bed rest as soon as I come out of the second trimester and she's suggested we think about agreeing to an early caesarean possibly around seven-eight months if the baby is big enough so there isn't too much strain on my uterus and I don't go into premature labour and risk haemorrhaging.'

'Whatever we need to do to keep you both safe.' Hawke said fervently. He leaned over and kissed her gently before resting his forehead on hers. 'I've been an idiot.'

Caitlin's hand stroked through his hair until it came to rest on the back of his neck. 'You ready to talk?'

Hawke eased back enough to look at her. 'You remember I told you when we first got together you were going to have to be patient with me?' There was nothing but understanding her blue-green eyes and he sighed. 'But you already knew that.'

'I figured.' Caitlin gave a weak smile. 'The last time you pushed me away this hard I ended up in Texas.'

Hawke grimaced but he gave a small nod. He changed the subject. 'I've asked Michael to look into Lydia's situation.'

'Have you told Lydia that?' Caitlin asked dryly, sitting back against the pillows as though to put some distance between them.

Hawke sighed. 'Not yet.' He caught sight of something in Caitlin's expression and he cupped her cheek. 'Hey. You have to know nothing happened between her and me. Ever.'

'I know that.' Caitlin said, flushing. Her eyes met his challengingly. 'I know you wouldn't cheat on me.' She lifted a shoulder. 'I'm just not sure Lydia knows that.'

Hawke's eyes widened. 'You think she was making a play for me.'

'She wouldn't be the first.' Caitlin muttered. She waved a hand. 'Look, maybe I'm way off base but...'

'But you don't think so.' Hawke sighed.

'It just seems convenient that she always calls you when this ex of hers isn't there. You've never actually laid eyes on this guy, have you?' Caitlin pointed out.

'I guess Michael will find out the truth of it.' Hawke said with finality. Whatever Michael did find, he wasn't interested. Caitlin was pregnant and that took priority. He felt the fear rising up inside him; old familiar feelings of wanting to hide away with her from the rest of the world and simultaneously run away. 'Are we going to tell the kids about the baby?'

Caitlin bit her lip. 'I wanted to wait a while but if I'm going to be throwing up...' she made a face, 'I don't want them worrying I'm ill.'

Hawke sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. 'Yeah, about them worrying...' he gestured at her, 'they asked me if we were getting divorced.'

'They did what?' Caitlin's mouth fell open. 'Seriously?'

He nodded. 'I told them no; apologised for not being around.' He said sheepishly. 'Amelia seemed to be OK with that; Nicky...' he frowned, 'he heard you crying last night.'

'Oh God.' Caitlin looked mortified. 'I thought they were both in bed.'

'It's not your fault.' Hawke said firmly. It was his screw-up. He squeezed her hand. 'He's just looking out for his Mom and not quite ready to forgive me; I can take it.'

Caitlin bit her lip but she didn't argue.

He stood up. 'Why don't I go get you that toast and tea? I'll grab the kids and we can tell them.'

She nodded her agreement mutely.

'Cait,' Hawke brushed his thumb across the back of her hand again, 'we're going to be OK.'

'We are.' Caitlin said roughly, tears shining in her eyes.

He kissed the palm of her hand and left her. He closed the bedroom door behind him and for a moment stood on the old sleeping deck of his cabin and wondered at just how close he had come to destroying his family.

He pushed away from the door and headed down to make the tea and toast. He set the kettle on the stove and the bread in the toaster before he made his way to the kid's rooms. He found them in Nicky's room playing a computer game.

'Guys, can you get yourself sorted and come up to our room?' He asked briskly. 'There's something your Mom and I want to talk to you about it.'

He noted the look of 'told you so' that Nicky shot Amelia before they nodded.

They were both washed and dressed in jeans and t-shirts by the time Hawke had assembled the new tray and he ignored Nicky's suspicious look as he led the way up to the bedroom and waved the kids inside.

Caitlin patted the bed, and the kids hurried over. Amelia immediately made for her mother's side and cuddled into her. Hawke realised maybe his daughter wasn't quite as sangfroid as she appeared over the events of the previous couple of days. Nicky hovered but climbed up as Caitlin waved at him. He didn't quite snuggle into his mother but he shuffled up until she was close enough to place an arm around him.

Hawke set the tray down and sat beside Caitlin again, placing Amelia's feet on his lap so he could get close enough.

'Your Dad mentioned we had you guys worried.' Caitlin opened the discussion and Hawke almost started in surprise but he held his tongue. If she felt they needed to clear the air first, he was willing to along with her.

'Not you.' Nicky's look toward Hawke clearly gave away where he felt the blame lay.

'Nicky,' Caitlin remonstrated gently, 'this isn't all your Dad's fault.'

'No, it's _hers_ too.' Nicky rejoined, scowling.

Hawke caught Caitlin's eyes, sharing her quiet horror at how much Nicky had been affected by events. And it was going to be up to him to fix it, Hawke realised, his heart sinking.

'Nicky,' Hawke wet his lips as he struggled with what to say next; this was for his son, he reminded himself. 'You remember when Grandpa was ill a few months back?'

Nicky looked confused at the change of topic but he nodded.

'And you remember how we told you that before you were born there was a time when Grandpa and Grandma weren't in my life?' They'd always been honest with the kids.

Nicky nodded again.

'Because they were in protection with Aunty Sarah and Uncle Seb.' Amelia piped up. 'So you and Uncle Saint John were raised by Dom.'

'That's right.' Hawke said, patting her leg. 'Well, when Grandpa was ill, it kinda made me remember how sad I was when they weren't in my life and,' he stopped, took a deep breath and forced himself to continue, 'and it reminded me that I used to be really scared about losing the people I care about it.'

'You were scared, Daddy?' Amelia slipped out of her mother's hold and scrambled to hug Hawke instead.

'I was.' His blue eyes met his son's briefly over Amelia's head.

Nicky looked back at him, uncertainty flickering in his eyes.

'But instead of talking to your Mom like I should have,' Hawke continued, holding Nicky's gaze, 'I tried to pretend everything was fine.'

'Doesn't explain why you're spending so much time with _her_.' Nicky asserted angrily.

'Dominic.' Caitlin warned quietly.

Nicky flushed.

'Lydia claimed she was being stalked by her ex-boyfriend.' Hawke explained. 'She said she needed some help. That's it. That's the reason why I've been spending time with her.' He held up a hand when Nicky would have said something. 'I'm not denying it gave me an excuse to avoid being home so I didn't have to talk with your Mom.'

'And that's why Mommy was crying?' Amelia asked anxiously.

Hawke stroked a hand down her hair. 'Yeah, because she knew something was wrong and I wouldn't talk to her.'

'But we have talked now.' Caitlin said firmly, nudging Nicky's chin up so he would look at her. 'And your Dad and I are fine.'

'What about Lydia?' Amelia asked. 'Is her boyfriend still going to make trouble for her?'

Hawke hugged her, wondering at what a sweet child they'd raised. 'She's going to be fine. Uncle Michael's sorting it all out.'

'There's something else, your Dad and I wanted to discuss.' Caitlin said, clearing her throat. 'I only had it confirmed a couple of days ago but...' she smiled, 'we're going to have a baby.'

Amelia squealed and launched herself at her mother. Caitlin laughed and hugged her as Amelia placed a hand on Caitlin's still flat tummy.

'I can't feel anything.' She complained.

'Well, it'll be a while yet.' Caitlin said. She turned to her son. 'Nicky?'

'It's cool.' Nicky shrugged, although there was a smile hovering around his lips. 'I guess.'

'We're all going to have to work together as a family.' Caitlin said, her gaze flickering to Hawke's. 'Babies are hard work.'

'I'll be there, Mom.' Nicky promised immediately.

'We'll all be there.' Hawke added. But as he saw a glimmer of wariness in his son's eyes that made his stomach churn, he figured he had a lot of making up to do before his son believed him again.

\---

Mike pulled up in front of Santini Air and turned to Chris with a ready grin. 'And I still say Duran Duran are the best band ever.'

'You are so old,' Chris complained, 'and so wrong.'

Sarah sighed dramatically and poked her head through from the back seat. 'And as fascinating as this debate is perhaps we could get to work.'

'Yes, Mom.' Chris rolled his eyes at Mike but he got out of the car. He walked with a cocky confidence that only a seventeen year old could exude. Mike watched as the young man who was soon to be his step-son disappeared into the hangar. Chris was hanging in at school to complete his senior year but his heart was already at the airfield, already in the sky.

Sarah watched him go and nudged Mike with her fist. 'Are you coming in?'

'Yeah,' Mike said, 'I've got some time.' He helped his fiancée out and slung an arm around her shoulders as they made their way inside.

They found Saint John tightening the bolts on the rotor of the latest helicopter to bear the trademark design of Santini Air.

Sarah yelled up at her brother. 'Hey, Saint John, you want some coffee?'

'Sounds good.' Saint John called back. He climbed down the ladder, wiping his hands on a rag and walked with them into the office.

'So, you decided to join us today, Mike?' Saint John asked, accepting a mug from his sister with a smile.

'Actually, no.' Mike picked up a pen and played with it absently. 'Your brother skipped out on today's test run so I'm covering.'

Saint John lowered the mug. 'Skipped out?'

'Spending the time with Caitlin and the kids, hopefully.' Sarah said pulling a face. Her expression gave away her opinion of her brother's recent behaviour.

Mike and Saint John exchanged a look.

She noticed it immediately and sighed heavily. 'Men.'

'Sarah,' Mike caught hold of her hand and kissed her knuckles, 'you and I both know your brother would never cheat on Caitlin.'

'Just ignore her and the kids to run around after some other woman.' Sarah retorted.

'It's not that simple.' Saint John said. 'I think Dad's heart attack brought back a lot of stuff for him.'

'It wasn't exactly a picnic for any of us.' Sarah muttered. 'And it shouldn't be an excuse.' She sipped her coffee, dropped a kiss on Mike's lips. 'Come find me when you've finished gossiping with Saint John.'

'Hey!' Mike protested as she shot him a brilliant smile over her shoulder on her way out, 'we don't gossip!' He looked over at Saint John. 'We just discuss topics in a manly way.'

Saint John snorted. 'How are the wedding preparations going?'

'Sarah's happy.' Mike quipped. 'I'm happy.' His eyes glinted. 'You worked out the bachelor thing yet?'

'Are you sure you want to risk it?' Saint John shot back. 'You know what usually happens when you invite my brother to one of those things.'

Mike grinned. 'I'll risk it.'

Saint John raised his mug. 'You're a brave man.' He paused for dramatic effect. 'Or stupid.' He smiled. 'I'm thinking of going with stupid.'

Mike stuck his tongue out at him. He glanced through the door and back at Saint John. 'About Jo...'

'I told you it's OK, Mike.'

Saint John's jaw tensed and Mike knew it wasn't really OK; his best man just didn't want to spoil Mike's day by asking him not to invite her. Mike sighed. He almost hadn't but he and Jo were still friends and he wanted to keep it that way. He had thought – hoped – she would refuse the invite.

Mike changed the subject. 'So you think your brother's come to his senses at last?'

'I hope so.' Saint John said strongly. He looked down at his coffee. 'I went to see Michael a couple of days ago.'

'Really?'

'He pretty much told me Dad's heart attack probably brought back all the stuff about losing people and that if Caitlin was letting String work it out, we should keep out of it.' Saint John shook his head. 'I don't know why I didn't work it out.'

Mike caught the suppressed frustration in the older man's voice. He knew how it rankled Saint John that Michael understood his brother better than him on some things. 'You couldn't have known, Saint John.'

'Why not?' Saint John demanded. 'It's my godddamn fault he has that fear!' He sloshed the coffee over the side of the mug and swore.

'Saint John, it's not your fault anymore than it's your parents' or even Hawke's.' Mike said unusually serious. 'He went through hell because he lost you _all_. It left scars. He's just lucky Caitlin understands him.'

'She told me to stay out of it.' Saint John muttered. 'Like I can just stay out of it when he's my brother and she's...' he stopped suddenly.

Mike was left wondering what his friend was going to say. 'Well, it looks like they're sorting through it.' He said opting for a cheerful view.

'Let's hope so.' Saint John grumbled.

'I'd better head out.' Mike said. 'Take care.' They hugged, patting each other's back before parting.

Sarah called Mike over as he left the office. 'Hey you!'

Mike walked over, picked her up, twirled her around and stole a kiss.

'Oh, gross!' Chris complained from under the helicopter.

'I didn't hear you complaining when you were making out with Elena Lopez.' Mike shot back.

'She's not my Mom.' Chris pointed out.

Mike grinned at Sarah who was biting her lip and trying not to laugh. 'Thank God for that.' He kissed her again. 'See you later, beautiful.'

'Be safe.' Sarah called out as he headed out of the hangar. He glanced behind him and grinned. She was beautiful; her mink brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, blue eyes shining at him. He was thankful he'd had the sense to grab hold of her; that he hadn't allowed the rather daunting prospect of what her brothers would think sway him from getting involved with her.

Two more weeks, he reminded himself as he made for the chopper; two more weeks and she would be Mrs Mike Rivers, and he'd have a step-son. He and Sarah had already talked about adding to their family once they were married. He couldn't wait. Of course, if someone had told him when he'd first met Sarah that they'd get married, live happily ever after, he would have laughed at them.

The journey to Red Star took a while and he let the flight absorb him. Too soon it seemed he was setting down on one of the helipads and making his way into the building. He changed into the Airwolf lilac flight suit and made for the briefing room.

Seb was already present as was Michael's daughter, Angelina. He shook his head. It seemed to Mike like yesterday when she'd been a young schoolgirl in pigtails. She was training to join the flight crew; a situation he knew made Michael terrified and proud in equal measure. One of the Airwolf crews was in constant operation out in the Middle East; one always on stand-by in the US for missions that originated directly from the White House. Being part of an Airwolf crew was a dangerous job.

But then Angelina had already seen more danger than most twenty-two year olds and losing her fiancé two years before had seemingly pushed her into her current direction. She was good; incredibly smart; disciplined. Her physical training had added muscle to her slim frame. She wasn't a bad pilot either. She and Airwolf had developed quite a rapport in the sky.

Mike nodded a greeting at Seb and sat down, happily lifting a foot onto the shiny briefing table and crossing his legs at the ankle. Michael limped in a moment later, leaning heavily on his cane. Mike saw Angelina frown and grip her chair as though to prevent herself from going over to him.

'Sorry to keep you waiting.' Michael pressed a button and the screen behind him leapt into life. 'The test run is over Yellowstone National Park. Your assignment is to take geothermal images of the whole park...'

'Why?' Mike asked interested. 'Are we looking for lost tourists?'

'Actually you're looking for signs of an imminent super-volcanic eruption.' Michael rejoined smoothly.

'Right.' Mike murmured.

Michael lifted a hand from the table. 'It should be straightforward enough as a test run for the new ship.'

'Where's Hawke?' Seb asked bluntly.

'Personal business.' Michael said succinctly. 'He's at home.'

'About time.' Seb muttered.

Michael shot him a look. 'You'll leave in thirty minutes. Any questions?'

There was a resounding silence.

Mike swept his report from the table and swung his feet down. 'Sounds simple enough.'

The team made their way to the test hangar. The new Airwolf was slim and elegant in design. She still carried the black and white motif; but her body was slimmer, sleeker; her nose more aerodynamic. She was going to be a beauty when she was finished, Mike thought proudly.

'OK, gang!' Mike ordered cheerfully. 'Pre-flight checks.'

Seb grumbled but got inside to start running the technology checks. Mike had Angelina walk him through the counter-measure specialist checklist before he walked her through the pilot's. They had just finished when they saw a woman approaching.

'Great.' Seb muttered. 'Look who it is.'

Angelina grimaced but she had a polite smile on her face when the woman got close enough for them to talk with her. 'Lydia.'

'Hi.' The blonde glanced around with an anxious look in her brown eyes. 'I thought Hawke was taking the test run today.'

'He's at home with his wife.' Seb replied caustically.

Lydia stared at him for a moment before she turned and walked away.

'That is one weird woman.' Seb said.

Angelina nodded. 'I don't care what they say; there is no way Uncle String would fool around with her. She's not his type.'

'I agree.' Mike said easily as they put on the helmets and began to power up. 'But let's focus on the assignment, huh?'

A couple of hours later, he stared out at the unrelenting natural beauty below him and handed over the controls to Angelina. He pulled a candy bar out of his top pocket and took a bite, savouring the sweet chocolate even as he admired the view below.

'This,' he declared, 'is the way to see this park.'

'It's beautiful.' Angelina said.

'And remote.' Seb shook his head. 'All I'm picking up is elk and bear.'

Mike swallowed his chocolate. 'It's a not somewhere you want to get lost in that's for sure.'

'Nights at high altitude here can drop below freezing even in summer.' Angelina agreed with him. She smiled at him. 'You all set for the wedding?'

'As much as we can be.' Mike joked with a smug smile. 'Saint John's organising a bachelor thing.'

'That's brave.' Angelina murmured, steadying Airwolf as she buffeted by a strong wind.

'Saint John may have used the word stupid.' Mike commented happily. 'I think he's worried about my inviting Hawke.'

'He probably won't show.' Seb suggested bluntly. 'He'll be too busy with Lydia.'

'Seb, that's really unfair.' Angelina complained.

Airwolf shimmied left and Angelina corrected.

'What's unfair is the way that he's treated Caitlin for the past few months.' Seb argued back. 'I don't know why she puts up with him – why any of us put up with him.'

'You're just jealous!' Angelina shot back. 'And Caitlin loves him and understands what he's been through. You don't!'

'Hey, all of us have been through stuff.' Seb rejoined furiously. 'But somehow everyone seems to think he got the worse deal and I'm sick of making allowances for him.'

'He did get the worse deal.' Angelina said angrily. 'The last time I looked you didn't lose your parents when you were twelve and your brother didn't leave you wondering whether he was dead or alive in 'Nam for fifteen years of your life!'

'No, my sister ran away and we didn't know if she was dead or alive.' Seb pointed out. 'And Saint John lost our folks too – nobody seems to be bothered about that!' He glared at Angelina. 'Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean he's perfect!'

'I do not have a crush on him,' Angelina denied passionately, 'and just because you resent him doesn't mean you shouldn't give him a break!'

'And...'

'That's enough!' Mike intervened as Airwolf shifted again in response to Angelina's emotions transmitting through her hold on the helicopter.

There was a moment's silence.

'You're both right.' Mike said seriously. He turned to the back and held Seb's angry eyes with his own. 'Seb, you do need to give your brother a break. He lost everyone in his life at some point; you haven't. Maybe if you consider how you felt when Sarah was lost and multiple it by everyone else in your life, you'll get a clue at what he went through.' He watched as a dull flush broke over Seb's cheeks. 'It left him with a lot of baggage and sometimes it raises its head.'

He turned back to the front. 'And you, young lady, have to stop viewing Hawke as perfect. He's flawed; just like the rest of us.'

'But...'

'No, buts.' Mike stated firmly. 'Seb is also right. Just because Hawke has had a tough time, has baggage, it doesn't give him a license to act out the way he has over the last couple of months. Maybe Caitlin will forgive him for it – that's between them – but he's made mistakes and that's the truth of it.' He sighed as she looked at him. 'Kid, if you want to be part of the crew, you need to be able to challenge whoever sits in this seat occasionally, and that includes Hawke.'

'Does it include you too?' Angelina asked tersely.

'Yes, it does.' Mike agreed cheerily. 'But not right now.'

Airwolf suddenly shuddered violently and Angelina fought to keep her steady as Airwolf plummeted sharply.

'What the hell was that?' Angelina asked as the alarms sounded loudly.

'Hand her back!' Mike ordered briskly. 'Seb?'

'It was a small explosive device!' Seb exclaimed with disbelief. 'It was attached to the internal structure.' He shook his head. 'Diagnostics are all over the place!'

'I'm reading damage to our electronics including the engine systems!' Angelina said.

'Open up communications! Send a mayday!' Mike said, fighting to keep control as Airwolf refused to respond.

There was another jolt as Airwolf shook again.

'Secondary explosive!' Seb swore. 'It was attached to the fuel systems. I'm reading an imminent build up of gas in the fuel line.'

'On my mark,' Mike said grimly, 'you eject!' It was the only way to ensure their lives, he told himself.

'Mike...' Seb protested.

'I'll eject as soon as I've got Airwolf away from you guys. Now, on my mark!' Mike repeated. 'Angelina, send our coordinates and final mayday now!'

Angelina complied, her voice shaking as she relayed the information.

'You'd better hit that eject button as soon as you can, Mike.' Seb warned. 'I don't want to tell Sarah you're not coming home.'

'I'll be right behind you.' Mike promised. 'On three.' He said calmly. They all slid their visors down on their helmets, engaged the oxygen flow attached to their seats. 'One, two: mark!'

They hit their eject buttons. The panels under their feet fell away, the cabin depressurising rapidly and Mike watched as Seb's and Angelina's seats shot downwards into sky. The parachutes opened up. He fought to steer Airwolf away from them so they wouldn't be caught in the explosion.

It was a struggle between the damaged systems, the depressurisation and the winds bracketing the damaged helicopter. The urgency to leave pressed in on him but he knew he needed more distance from Seb and Angelina. His gut nagged at him though and Mike knew he was out of time. His hand reached for the eject button and flicked it.

He fell through the floor of Airwolf; plummeting into the blue sky. The parachute opened up above him and he jolted in his seat as the wind caught it and sent him spinning through the air.

Airwolf exploded.

She was nothing but a ball of orange fire above in the sky.

Mike looked up and his eyes widened behind the visor as he saw her tumbling down. He was too close! He was too close and...

Debris caught the parachute; knocking it one way then another; it caught fire and he felt the sudden lack of resistance as he began to fall again.

He saw the trees below him and prayed for a miracle.

Sarah, Mike thought desperately; he couldn't die...not now...

The impact drove the breath from his body and as his head was whipped around violently he lost consciousness as the chair ricocheted through branch after branch after branch, slowing momentum until it crashed into the woodland floor.

\---

The raised voices drifting out from the back of the cabin where the kids' bedrooms were located made Caitlin sigh as she abandoned the lunch dishes.

The nausea had thankfully subsided and they'd been able to sit down for the mid-day meal as a family. It had been awkward and tense. Father and son had barely spoken and Amelia had played up as though to draw attention. Caitlin rubbed the back of her neck and berated herself again for not noticing how Hawke's behaviour had been picked up on by the kids. She had thought they hadn't been aware of the way Hawke had absented himself; thought she had done a good job of pretending everything was fine, that he was just busy at work. Clearly she had been deluding herself at her children's expense. Guilt gnawed at her belly.

She shook herself briskly. There was no use focusing on the mistakes she and Hawke had made with the kids; they had to focus on fixing them. Unfortunately, Hawke's tentative attempt to reach out to Nicky after lunch – an invitation to take a walk with their dog, Bit, on the mountain – had been firmly rebuffed. She'd encouraged Hawke to go anyway. She knew him well enough to know he would be castigating himself for hurting the kids; hurting her...

She sighed and headed towards the argument. One thing at a time, Caitlin considered determinedly. She could hear the squabbling much clearer as she neared Nicky's room but the conversation came to an abrupt halt as she appeared in the doorway.

Both her children looked at her from their places on the floor with guilty but closed expressions. She could see temper in their flushed cheeks and Amelia's teary eyes. Caitlin remembered her own childhood well enough to know that the unspoken rule that whatever the issue between siblings, nobody tattled to their parents. It didn't stop her from folding her arms and regarding them with a stern stare.

'Anyone want to tell me what's going on here?' She asked.

Nicky and Amelia looked at each other but neither of them spoke.

'Amelia,' Caitlin said with a sigh, 'why don't you go and practice on the piano. I'll come out and listen to you play in a little while.' Music usually helped calm her daughter just as it calmed Hawke.

Amelia scrambled to her feet and followed Caitlin's suggestion. Caitlin could hear the piano they had bought for her being opened and the first practice notes filling the air as she stepped into her son's room and closed the door.

She lowered herself to the floor and leaned back against the bed. 'So.'

Nicky's gaze was pinned to the floor.

Caitlin rubbed her hands over her knees before she clasped them together. 'It really sucks, huh? Finding out your parents are human?'

Her son's head shot up and he looked at her surprised. She held gaze for a long moment before Nicky looked away again.

'I owe you an apology, Nicky.'

'You don't have to apologise.' He mumbled.

'Yes, I do.' Caitlin corrected him gently. 'I screwed up and you're angry at me.' She resisted the urge to reach out to him. He'd started protesting when she hugged him; a small sign that he was growing up, eschewing maternal comfort and wanting to be a man. He wasn't her little boy anymore but he wasn't an adult either, and she figured she needed to tread a fine line.

'He screwed up.' Nicky muttered, but she noted he didn't deny that he was angry at her.

'No, we both screwed up.' Caitlin said firmly. 'I should have confronted your Dad much earlier.'

'Why didn't you?' Nicky asked plaintively. He darted a look at her; partly accusing, partly puzzled.

Caitlin bit her lip, wondering just how honest she should be. 'I think because when I first realised he was doing it, I wanted to pretend that it wasn't happening.' She sighed. 'And then, when I stopped pretending, I figured he would work it out and that he would want to work it out on his own because that's how your Dad is.'

Nicky didn't reply and Caitlin nudged his arm gently with her elbow. 'What are you thinking?' She asked.

He looked away towards the window and the woodland beyond. 'Why did you just forgive him like he didn't do anything wrong?'

The words tumbled out and Caitlin pressed her lips together as she forced herself to remain still.

'Nicky,' Caitlin began, 'do you ever remember a time when you didn't have Grandpa Alan and Grandma Jane? Or your uncles? And Aunt Sarah?'

Nicky shook his head.

'Well, I remember when I first met your Dad and he had nobody.' Caitlin said softly. 'He only had Dom. That was it.'

'I know the story, Mom.' Nicky protested. 'I know how he married you, and found Uncle Saint John, and then found Grandma and Grandpa.'

'Yes, you know the story, but you don't understand what your Dad went through because you've never been alone like your Dad was back then.' Caitlin said. 'And that's a good thing, Nicky, because neither your Dad or I ever wanted you to know how your Dad felt back then; how lonely and hurt he was because everyone he loved had left him alone.'

Nicky looked at her, a crease forming between his brow as he assimilated her words.

'Back when I first met your Dad he used to keep everybody at a distance because he was scared if he let them get close, they'd eventually leave him and he'd be hurt and alone again.' Caitlin continued.

Nicky frowned heavily. 'But doesn't that mean he was just alone all the time anyway?'

'You're right.' Caitlin said. 'And it took a long time for your Dad to get past his fears and see that but he worked through it.' She saw her words, an echo of her previous statement on Hawke's current behaviour, register with Nicky.

Her son changed position as though unsettled by her words. She wasn't sure how much he understood really but she hoped he'd understood enough to give Hawke an opening to make it right with him again.

'I think we both thought that your Dad's fears weren't a problem anymore.' Caitlin concluded. 'And we were wrong.' And it had taken them by surprise, she mused inwardly, which partly explained why they'd handled it so badly even if it didn't excuse it.

'So you're just OK with how he acted because of how he was before.' Nicky said accusingly.

And there, Caitlin thought with chagrin, was the reason why Nicky was angry with her. Not because she hadn't called out Hawke on behaviour earlier but because she had been too quick to forgive him.

'I _understand_ because of how he was before.' Caitlin corrected. 'And I'm not OK with how he acted; your Dad knows that. But I also know he's already feeling guilty about hurting us and that he's sorry. My getting angry with him wouldn't help things any and just seems kinda pointless.' Her hand sneaked to her belly.

Nicky rubbed his chin and for a second he looked so like Hawke that Caitlin almost lost her breath. 'I guess.'

Caitlin nudged him again. 'You need to talk to your Dad about this.'

'I guess.' He repeated. He looked at her shamefaced. 'I yelled at Melly.'

The unusual use of his childhood nickname for his sister, coined when he couldn't quite say her name, made Caitlin smile. 'So you'll apologise.'

Nicky sprang forward and hugged her. Caitlin caught him and hugged him back hard. 'You know I love you, right, Nicky?'

'Uh-huh.' Nicky shifted, pulling away a little and avoiding her eyes. 'Me too.'

Caitlin smiled and ruffled his hair. 'Come on. Let's go and check on your sister.'

He rolled his eyes but he got up and helped her up off the floor. They made their way back into the living area where Amelia was running through her concert music. Nicky made his way over and sat down beside her on the piano stool. Caitlin could hear him talk quietly to Amelia and as her daughter smiled, Caitlin figured the latest crisis was over.

She sighed and headed back for the dishes. The cabin door opened and Hawke walked in hurriedly, his blue eyes scanning around the room anxiously as Bit walked over to the hearth and flopped down.

'Hey.' Caitlin waved the dishcloth at him. 'I thought you'd be out for longer.'

Hawke closed the door and made his way to her. 'I just...' he cut himself off as he looked briefly over at Nicky and Amelia before he made his way into the kitchen where he could talk with her in relative privacy. 'Everything OK here?'

'The kids were arguing but they're over it.' Caitlin frowned. Hawke didn't usually get a feeling because the kids were upset. 'What's going on?'

Hawke lifted one shoulder but just as he opened his mouth as though to reply, the sound of the satellite phone ringing broke through the cabin.

Caitlin followed him to the bar at the back where they kept the phone still in its Company issued brief-case.

'Hawke.' He mouthed the word 'Michael' at her before his eyes darkened with alarm before their expression was shuttered away from view completely. 'When?'

Caitlin moved restlessly and Hawke held up a finger to prevent her from talking.

'Yeah, I got it, Michael. We'll be there.' Hawke dropped the receiver into the cradle.

'Hawke?' Caitlin asked, worried at the mask of impassivity he wore.

'The test flight went down.' Hawke explained succinctly.

'Oh God.' Caitlin's hand went to her mouth. Seb had been on the flight; Mike...Angelina. The idea that any of them had been lost was unthinkable.

'They think it was sabotage.' Hawke continued grimly. 'Michael wants us all at Red Star.'

'Right, I'll get our stuff together.' Caitlin reached out and grasped his arm. 'Hawke, it's going to be OK.'

She could see him battle to hold back a biting retort and almost kicked herself for saying anything. But he nodded finally and moved off to inform Nicky and Amelia. She watched him worriedly. If anything had happened to the others...Caitlin knew Hawke would never forgive himself.

\---

Saint John had heard the car pulling up outside the hangar and was already half-way down the ladder when Jo Santini walked in. He stopped his descent and stared at her. It had been just over two years since he had last seen her and she looked good – better, in fact. Her blonde hair was stylishly clasped back from her face into an elegant ponytail; her make-up was light but perfect. Her outfit, a blue pants suit with white shirt, was fashionable and made the most of her trim figure. Her eyes looked at him with an assessing wariness that he figured was reflected right back at her in his own.

'Saint John.' Jo greeted him hesitantly.

'Jo.' Saint John jumped off the remaining steps, ignoring the jolt in his knees. He walked up to stand just in front of her. 'You look good.'

'So do you.' Jo said.

Saint John wondered what she saw. He kept himself in shape but his muscles wouldn't hold the same tone that his younger body had taken for granted, and the blue overalls really hid everything but his bulk from view. He still had a full head of hair even if there was grey mixed in with the blond but his face was marked with lines from his years of experience.

He waved the wrench he held. 'We weren't expecting you for another couple of weeks.'

'I decided to come early.' Jo explained quickly. 'I thought it might be less awkward than just showing up for the wedding.'

He nodded, more because it was expected than in agreement. The way he saw it, it was going to be awkward no matter when she showed up; just like it was awkward right that minute.

'Sarah still working with you?' Jo asked, shifting her weight under Saint John's even stare.

'Yeah,' Saint John gestured back towards the office, 'she and Chris are catching us up on the paperwork.'

'Chris must be what sixteen...'

'Seventeen.' Saint John corrected.

'Seventeen.' Jo shook her head in disbelief.

Neither of them mentioned the thought that crossed both their minds, of how old their own daughter Bella would have been if she had lived. Saint John heard the distant sound of a phone ringing and ignored it; Sarah would grab it.

'He's working here now?' Jo asked instead.

'After school; weekends.' Saint John said. 'He wants to fly.'

'Definitely a Hawke.' Jo quipped with a tentative smile.

His lips curved unwillingly in reluctant agreement. 'How have you been?'

Jo bit her lip. 'Actually...'

'Uncle Saint John!' Chris barrelled through the office door and into the hangar, panic written across his face.

'What's the matter?' Saint John asked immediately, turning to rush over to his nephew. He could see Sarah kneeling on the floor by the desk, clearly distraught.

'It's Michael.' Chris explained. 'He told Mom Airwolf went down; they think it was sabotage.' His eyes strayed past Saint John to Jo and widened.

Saint John ignored him and hurried over to Sarah. He took the phone from her loose grip. 'Michael.'

'Saint John.' Michael sighed. 'Is Sarah OK?'

'She's in shock. What do you think?' Saint John snapped.

'We need all of you at Red Star.' Michael retorted.

He put the phone down before Saint John could reply and Saint John stabbed the off button with more force than necessary before he belatedly remembered Angelina had been due to be on the flight. Michael was probably worried about his own daughter.

Saint John sighed and motioned at Chris. 'Get the chopper ready. We're going to Red Star.' Chris ran off and Saint John gently rubbed Sarah's back. 'Sarah?'

'Saint John.' Sarah looked at him shell-shocked. 'If Mike...if anything's happened to him...' she covered her mouth with her hand, 'oh God, Seb!'

'They're going to be OK.' Saint John promised. He helped her to her feet and turned them towards the door, halting at the sight of Jo.

'Jo.' Sarah murmured. She looked at Saint John as though to check he was OK and back to the older woman.

'There's been some kind of accident?' Jo asked in response. 'Is Mike OK?'

'Mike had a test flight this morning along with Seb and Angelina.' Saint John explained quickly. 'It went down.'

'I'll come with you.' Jo said, her face filling with concern for their mutual friend.

Something of his own hesitation, his desire not to have her along must have shown because she flinched and looked away before gathering her courage.

'Please.' She said.

Sarah placed a hand on Saint John's arm. 'We don't have time to argue.'

Saint John nodded brusquely. 'Come on then.'

The flight was tense and mostly silent. Saint John sat in the front with Jo, leaving Sarah with Chris in the back-seat. He was pleased his nephew had ditched his usual teenage distance to keep an arm around his mother's shoulder.

Saint John caught sight of his brother's personal chopper sitting on the helipad as he came into land and he absently realised that Michael must have called in String and Caitlin too. They were greeted at Red Star by one of Michael's hand-picked agents, Janice, and escorted through to Marella's large corner office.

Caitlin immediately stood up and came across the room to hug Sarah. Saint John caught the surprise in her eyes as they landed on Jo.

'I was at the airfield when the news came in.' Jo explained as Amelia hopped across the room to hug her.

Saint John tried not to feel betrayed by his niece's warm welcome to her Aunt – both he and Jo had often looked after Nicky and Amelia when they had been married – but he was pleased when Nicky settled for a slow nod that reminded Saint John of String.

Caitlin offered Jo an encouraging smile and rubbed Sarah's shoulder comfortingly. 'Marella sent a car to get your parents.'

'Do you have any news?' Saint John asked briskly.

'Search and rescue are already looking for the crash site.' She motioned at Chris. 'Could you stay with Nicky and Amelia for me?'

Chris grimaced but he gave a nod.

Caitlin led the way out of Marella's office and down the corridor to Michael's. Saint John spotted his brother standing in front of a map of Yellowstone National Park that covered one wall. They all headed over to join him.

Hawke turned around and Sarah moved into his arms for another hug. His eyes slid to Jo before they met Saint John's, a silent question in his eyes.

Saint John shrugged. 'Any news?' He asked again.

'We have something.' Michael's voice had them all turning towards the door. Michael walked in, followed by a harried looking Marella. Michael gestured for them all to take seats at the briefing table. His good eye skipped over Jo, settled on Hawke questioningly before apparently dismissing her presence in his head. 'This was the mayday.'

Marella punched a button on the computer keyboard in front of her and a crackling sound filled the room and then Angelina's voice.

'Mayday! Mayday! This is Airwolf! We are declaring an emergency! There was an explosion caused by a bomb...mayday! We have sustained heavy damage and are ejecting!'

Saint John saw Michael's barely concealed frustration and worry in the way the spy's jaw clenched.

Marella turned off the recording. 'She goes on to provide final coordinates.'

'There's already been a search and rescue deployed locally.' Michael said tersely. 'But so far they've been unable to reach the coordinates due to bad weather moving in over the area.'

'I told you; we should take Airwolf.' Hawke bit out. Saint John could feel his brother's longing to do something: he shared it.

'And I told you, we can't risk it.' Michael said as equally forceful as Hawke. 'If the new Airwolf was sabotaged, we have no way of knowing if the operational Airwolf has also been compromised.'

'Can't we just check for explosive devices?' Caitlin asked.

Marella shook her head. 'Whatever happened, it was well hidden within the existing systems. Airwolf's intelligence didn't even pick up on it. The intelligence was pulled back here by a safety protocol Karen added a while ago so we only have the data Seb managed to send back before we lost connection and that indicates nothing triggered a warning flag.'

'Obviously someone has been planning this for a while.' Michael said grimly. He sat back. 'Red Star is on lockdown. We're doing a full head count of personnel.'

'So we can't use Airwolf...' Saint John began heatedly.

Hawke suddenly sat forward. 'What about the original Airwolf?'

Michael sat forward and pointed a finger at him, a glimmer of hope entering his good eye. 'That might just work.'

'What?' Sarah asked, looking at the two men.

'The original ship was decommissioned but she's kept here in storage. A saboteur probably overlooked it.' Caitlin explained. She stood up as Hawke got to his feet.

'You'll need an engineer.' Saint John noted.

'That would be me.' Michael said.

'Then I'll take the counter-specialist chair.' Saint John insisted.

Michael subsided. 'Fine.'

Hawke leaned over and kissed Caitlin. 'We'll stay in touch.'

Saint John exchanged a look with Sarah; evidently the couple had sorted their issues.

'You'd better.' Caitlin threatened.

'I'll arrange a fuel pick-up.' Marella said as Michael dropped a kiss on her cheek.

'Bring them home.' Sarah said roughly.

'We will.' Hawke said. 'That's a promise.'

Saint John fell into step on one side of him as Michael fell into step on the other. They diverted to pick up medical supplies and spare clothing before they made straight for the hangar where the old Airwolf was kept. They suited up quickly and within minutes were taking their places.

'Systems are all in the green.' Michael said.

'Let's go.' Hawke manoeuvred Airwolf into open space and lifted off with a smooth swiftness that always took Saint John's breath away. Hawke called for the turbos and they shot forward.

'Course laid in.' Michael said.

'Get Airwolf to plot likely landing sites based on the wind direction, last known speed and altitude.' Hawke ordered. 'You'll need to factor in a few extra minutes of flight time for Mike.'

'Why?' Michael asked even as he punched in instructions into the computer.

'He would have stayed with her and flown her away from the other two to make sure they didn't get hit by her on the way down.' Saint John supplied.

There was silence for a long time as Airwolf ate up the miles between Red Star and Yellowstone National Park.

He glanced at his brother and wondered whether he should say anything about Caitlin; about Lydia Armstrong; about what the hell had been going on with String for the last few months. He sighed.

'You OK?' Hawke asked quietly.

'Actually I was thinking the same thing about you.' Saint John admitted.

Hawke shifted almost minutely in his seat but Saint John felt the merest shift in flight that accompanied his brother's movement.

'Mike said you ducked out of the flight run today.' Saint John prompted.

'I wanted to spend some time with Cait and the kids.' Hawke replied.

Saint John nodded. 'I figured.'

His brother went silent.

'You're incredibly lucky, you know that.' Saint John couldn't seem to stop the words from tumbling out. His brother had everything he had ever wanted and for him to have endangered that the way he had; Saint John just didn't understand it. 'Caitlin loves you; you have two great kids and another on the way...'

'What?'

Michael's startled interjection stopped Saint John and he grimaced. He hadn't meant to say that out loud...

'Caitlin's pregnant?' Michael asked.

Hawke glanced over his shoulder at his best friend before glaring at Saint John. 'How did you know?'

'She didn't tell you I knew?' Saint John sighed.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Hawke shot back.

'Look, I only found out because she almost fainted on me the other day.' Saint John said. 'She asked me not to say anything; she wanted to tell you herself.'

Hawke turned back to his flying but Saint John could sense he was angry.

'We're about to hit the storm over Yellowstone.' Michael said briskly. 'Perhaps we should focus on that.' His anxiety about his daughter bled through his otherwise composed voice.

Hawke didn't slow down; he ploughed into the storm and Saint John braced a hand on the front console.

'You're not going to do any of them any good if you get us killed.' Saint John said as Airwolf shook with the force of the winds buffeting her; the rain lashed down on her windshield reducing their visibility to zero.

'As much as I hate to admit it, Hawke,' Michael piped up from the back, 'your brother has a point.'

'Any slower and the force of the air currents will tear her apart.' Hawke pointed out dryly. 'You want me to slow down?'

'No. No.' Michael sighed. 'You just focus on flying.'

'Airwolf, start the scans.' Hawke ordered. 'We should be within range.'

Saint John leaned forward and saw the artificial intelligence was already following his brother's order. The sensor readings jumped on the monitor; information scrolled by fast enough to make Saint John's head spin. The fact that the intelligence existed had been one of the reasons why he'd retired from the Airwolf crew. He didn't quite trust a machine that could fly herself.

The monitor beeped.

'Found them.' Michael said with relief. 'Two life signs.'

'Probably Seb and Angelina.' Saint John said.

'Keep scanning further ahead for Mike.' Hawke ordered. He was already taking Airwolf down into the mists, locking onto the signal Airwolf had programmed for him.

Saint John got out and a wet bedraggled Angelina rushed up first with her right arm in a make-shift sling, climbing hurriedly into the back where her father wrapped her in a grey blanket and checked her over anxiously.

'Are you OK?' Michael asked, relief flooding his expression as his eye scanned over her.

'I'm alright, Dad.' Angelina assured him, pushing wet strands of her blonde hair out of her eyes as Seb squeezed in beside her.

Saint John looked him over as he closed the door. His youngest brother had a gash over one eye but he seemed fine.

'I'm good.' Seb confirmed as he accepted another blanket from Michael. 'Mike flew on to make sure we didn't get hit.'

'We're on it.' Hawke raised Airwolf back into the sky.

'Scans reinitiating.' Saint John said, reading the monitor again. 'I have something. Bear east, five degrees.'

'We have a life sign.' Michael reported. 'Sending you the coordinates.'

'Got them.' Hawke confirmed.

'Thank God!' Angelina said.

Saint John watched as Michael reached over and patted her uninjured arm.

'I'm going to point out the obvious,' Seb said, 'we can't all fit in this bird.'

'We'll assess Mike's condition,' Hawke said, 'if necessary, I'll stay behind until Saint John can come back for me.'

'I'll stay with you.' Seb offered.

'No.' Hawke shot him a look over his shoulder. 'You're injured.'

'I'll stay behind.' Saint John said firmly. He held Hawke's gaze. 'Caitlin doesn't need the worry of you having to spend a few hours alone in the wilderness.'

Hawke scowled.

Saint John looked out of the windshield as Airwolf descended, hoping to see Mike on his feet as the others had been.

'He's not moving.' Michael said as Airwolf jolted a little as she landed. 'Hawke, if I'm reading this right, it looks like he lost the chute.'

'Oh my God.' Angelina murmured. 'Is he OK?'

'Stay in Airwolf!' Hawke ordered as he took off his helmet. 'Saint John and I will go and assess the situation.' He gestured at Michael who solemnly handed him the first aid kit.

Saint John pushed open the passenger door and ran over to the still form of his friend. Mike was strapped into the chair; he'd obviously been able to remove his helmet at some point as it was lying on the ground beside him but otherwise he was unconscious.

'Mike! Buddy!' Saint John felt for a pulse. 'Can you hear me?'

Hawke looked at him as he knelt on the side and opened the first aid kit.

'He has a pulse.' Saint John said.

'He's breathing.' Hawke confirmed. He did a cursory check of Mike's surface injuries and shook his head. 'He needs professionals, Saint John.' He pointed up at the trees and Saint John's heart flip-flopped as he realised he could see the damage Mike's descent had done to the canopy overhead. 'He must have landed hard. If we move him...'

'We risk giving him a spinal injury.' Saint John completed. 'Damn it!'

Hawke grimaced. 'Stay with him. I'll get Michael to call it in. We'll make him as comfortable as we can.'

Saint John didn't watch as Hawke moved off; his eyes remained fixed to Mike's immobile form. 'Hang in there, Mike. We're going to get you home.' He promised. 'You're going to be OK.'

\---

Caitlin ran the water in the sink and wished that the lighting in the ladies' room was a little kinder. Under the harsh glare of the bright fluorescents she could see her freckles standing out in sharp relief against her pale skin; the dark shadows under her eyes. She washed her face and reached for a towel to pat it dry.

She didn't look up as the door swung open and Marella entered. Her friend had aged gracefully; her dark hair untouched by gray; her complexion free of the usual myriad of wrinkles. She simply looked like a more mature version of the agent Caitlin had met years before.

'Are you OK?' Marella asked concerned. 'You ran out of the room so fast after Michael's update...'

'Thought I was going to throw up.' Caitlin said. Her eyes met Marella's in the mirror. 'But I'm fine.'

Marella looked at her speculatively. 'Cait, are you...?'

'Pregnant.' Caitlin nodded sheepishly. 'Two months.' She turned around to look at her friend. 'I didn't even realise.'

'Congratulations.' Marella hugged her gently. She eased back and examined Caitlin's expression. 'Are you happy?'

Caitlin smiled. 'About the baby? ' She nodded and threw the paper towel in the trash. 'I'm very happy.'

'And Hawke?' Marella asked pointedly, brushing her dark springy curls over a shoulder.

'He's pleased but he's worried about me.' Caitlin said. 'You know that the doctor told us it would be dangerous for me to have any more.'

'Is that why he was home today?' Marella asked.

Caitlin shook her head. 'I only told him this morning.' She caught Marella's anger. 'He was home because he finally stopped running.'

'He's lucky you're so understanding.' Marella said, folding her arms and leaning back against the counter.

'I knew what I was getting into when I married him.' Caitlin pointed out. 'Hawke's never been easy but he's always been worth it.'

Marella placed a hand on her arm. 'I'm glad you guys worked through it.'

'Yeah,' Caitlin grimaced, 'but I should have confronted him earlier.' She gestured at her friend. 'The kids picked up on it; they're hurt.'

'They're good kids, Cait.' Marella assured her. 'They'll come through it too.'

'I just feel like I screwed up as a parent, you know.' Caitlin said leaning back and joining her. 'Amelia's going to be fine, I think. She's just such a sweetheart and she's definitely a Daddy's girl.'

'But you're worried about Nicky?' Marella realised.

'He's so angry at Hawke.'

'Maybe that isn't a bad thing.' Marella held up a hand. 'I love Hawke, you know that, but the way he's treated you all this last couple of months he does deserve to see some fallout from that, Caitlin. Him pushing you away when it was just the two of you and no commitment between you was bad but understandable given his history. Him pushing you away when you're married and you have two children...it's not acceptable.'

'He knows that.' Caitlin said defensively.

'It should never have happened.' Marella stressed. 'And maybe Nicky being mad at him for a little while will make him realise it can't happen again.'

'Marella,' Caitlin said tersely, her own frustration and anger bubbling up, 'I know you're angry on my behalf, on the kids' behalf, but...'

'Butt out?' Marella smiled as though she had expected the answer. 'Like I said, he's lucky he has you.'

'You'd do the same for Michael.' Caitlin pointed out, exasperated.

'You're right.' Marella admitted it. 'I'm just pleased Angelina's OK.'

Caitlin softened immediately. She knew how worried Marella had been about Angelina. Although Angelina was only Michael's by blood, Marella was her mother. 'Are you going with the others to the hospital in Wyoming?'

Marella shook her head. 'Angelina sounded fine and Michael's with her.' She waved at Caitlin. 'Hawke's with her. She's OK.' She looked at Caitlin. 'I guess you're not going either with Seb being OK.'

Caitlin shook her head. 'I just hope Mike pulls through too,' his injuries had sounded serious and it wasn't good that he was unconscious, 'but I need to be here for the kids and Sarah has Chris, Alan and the guys.'

'I was surprised Jo went with them.' Marella commented as they both turned to exit the brightly lit bathroom.

'I'm surprised she turned up early.' Caitlin said. She sighed. 'She and Mike have stayed in touch; they're friends. I know she wants to be here for the wedding and I know Mike wants her here but...'

'But you wish she'd stayed in Italy and not have Saint John stirred up by her presence again.'

'He loves her.' Caitlin said sadly. 'I think he always will.'

Marella nodded. 'You up for some investigative work?' She asked changing the subject.

'The saboteur?' Caitlin nodded. 'Count me in.' They walked back into Michael's office and found it empty.

The others must have left already for Wyoming, Caitlin surmised. Jane had opted for staying with the kids in Marella's office.

Marella sat down behind Michael's desk and asked for the latest reports.

Janice entered. The beautiful brunette handed Marella a stack of files and hovered another one in her hand. 'I also looked into Lydia Armstrong's ex on Archangel's order, Marella. Do you want that one too?'

'I'll take it.' Caitlin said. Janice handed it to her and left. She flipped it open and scanned through the initial information with a frown. 'So he actually does exist.'

Marella raised an eyebrow as she opened the first file and began to look through the personnel list.

'Marella,' Caitlin said urgently, 'this guy is on staff in engineering. He's an ex-Army explosives expert.'

'What?' Marella got up and walked around to read over her shoulder. 'I know this guy.' She went back for her report and shifted the papers until she got to the relevant section. 'Drew Henman; he hired on a month after Lydia began working here.'

'She never mentioned to Hawke that he was working at the base.' Caitlin said.

'Pretty key piece of information, don't you think?' Marella reached again for the personnel list. She paged through checking for their names. 'Lydia signed out as soon as Airwolf left for the flight test; she claimed she wasn't feeling well. Drew never showed up for work today but he was on duty last night.'

'You think Drew planted the bomb.' Caitlin stated. 'He was probably jealous at Hawke spending so much time with Lydia,' she ignored her own whisper of jealousy, 'and planted the bomb to hurt him.'

Marella tapped the folder thoughtfully. 'What if they're both in it?'

Caitlin stared at her. 'What?'

'I mean,' Marella said seriously, 'what if Lydia's whole focus on Hawke hasn't been about him; it's been about getting to Airwolf.'

It made sense; it made too much sense. Caitlin threw her folder on the desk. 'Damn it.'

o-O-o

One hospital corridor felt very much like another. Hawke squirmed on the hard plastic chair it felt like they'd been waiting for hours. He glanced up at the clock and repressed the urge to pace. His mind turned instead to his last phone call with Caitlin and the revelations around Drew Henman and Lydia.

A strange mix of emotions curdled inside him; mortification, shame, guilt. He didn't know what to think. It wasn't the first time one of them had been used to get to Airwolf; it probably wouldn't be the last but he had thought he would know if someone was trying to play him. Hell, he didn't admit it often but he had confidence in his gut and his gut had told him Lydia was in trouble. He couldn't believe that she wasn't.

Caitlin hadn't been amused when he'd insisted they check out the other scenario; that Lydia had been acting under duress, bullied by Drew in some way into helping him – or maybe, completely unaware. His wife might not have been amused but she had agreed.

She believed in him.

Despite everything.

Despite the fact that it was his fault that the Airwolf programme had been compromised; his fault that a bomb had taken out the new ship; his fault that a bomb had injured people he cared about.

Angelina stirred in the chair next to him. She was dressed in the spare clothing they had brought with them and looked frighteningly young in jeans and sweater. Her injured arm was sprained not broken but it was bandaged heavily and in a sling.

Hawke exchanged a look with Michael, who sat on the other side of her, over Angelina's blonde head. Michael hadn't wanted Angelina involved with Airwolf but after the death of her fiancée, she had become focused on becoming part of the crew. Hawke figured Michael had given her a chance because she would have just gone somewhere else if he hadn't; the Air Force, the FBI, CIA...God knew she would have had her pick from the alphabet soup. The crash had been Michael's worst nightmare made real.

Seb was the other side him; Saint John beyond him. His younger brother sported a white patch over the gash along his temple but he looked fine otherwise. He'd matured into a brilliant young man. Hawke watched as Seb's eyes flickered to Angelina and away again, and wondered at it. He dismissed the thought that Seb might be interested almost immediately. There was a heck of an age gap and, besides, the two worked together. He ignored the little voice in his head noting that he and Caitlin had an age gap and they had worked together. They had enough trouble to contend with, Hawke reminded himself, without borrowing more.

Saint John shifted position and Hawke saw why as he turned his head and saw the doors at the end of the corridor opening. His father, Jo, Chris and Sarah were headed towards them.

Alan Hawke headed straight for Seb; he held his youngest son tightly for a long moment before easing back and framing his face. 'Knocked your head?'

'I'm fine.' Seb insisted. 'Better than Mike.'

'Where is Mike?' Sarah asked urgently as she hugged her younger brother.

'Surgery.' Saint John answered.

'He lost his chute.' Hawke explained succinctly.

Sarah paled but she held his gaze demanding more even as Chris moved closer to her in support.

'He got knocked around on his way down.' Hawke continued. 'It looks like he had some internal bleeding. He was unconscious when we found him and there's some concern of a head injury.'

She let out a shaky breath. 'That's bad.'

Saint John put his arm around her. 'He's tough; he'll make it.'

'He will.' Jo agreed softly. 'He's been through worse and come out of it.' She and Saint John looked at each other; memories swimming in their eyes.

Hawke heard the soft sound of footsteps and nudged his sister in the direction of the approaching doctor.

The grey-haired man stopped in front of them and scanned the group tiredly. 'Who's next of kin?'

'I'm his fiancée.' Sarah stepped forward.

'Perhaps we can go somewhere private?' The doctor said pompously.

'This is fine.' Sarah bit out. 'Please. How is he?'

The doctor sighed. 'I'm afraid the news isn't good. We've repaired the damage and stopped the internal bleeding. But early scans are showing some signs of inflammation in the brain tissues, possibly from being shaken. His pupil responsiveness is slow and indicates trauma to the brain.' He looked at her dispassionately. 'Even if the rest of his body recovers, we believe he'll be brain damaged.'

'Oh God.' Sarah swayed and Saint John steadied her.

Hawke shot a look of anger toward the doctor for his insensitivity.

His father moved to stand beside them. 'Can we see him?'

'Only one person at a time.' The doctor said automatically. 'I'll get a nurse to take you down.' He walked away before anything more could be said.

Michael stood up. 'I'll make some calls and get an expert neurologist here to give us a second opinion.'

Hawke nodded.

Sarah suddenly whirled around and before Hawke could react she hit out at him.

'This is all your fault!' Sarah yelled.

He didn't defend himself; just took the punch. Everyone else stood frozen; shocked at her anger.

'You were supposed to be flying!' Sarah continued sobbing. 'It was supposed to be you!'

Hawke caught hold of her wrist as she went to hit him again and she stopped, standing in front of him, crying. He knew he should say something; anything. But he couldn't. He couldn't tell her he would change places if he could; Caitlin was pregnant; they had kids, and as much as he hated Mike being injured and hoped like Hell he would come out of it, Hawke was relieved it wasn't him. Guilt tore through him again.

'Don't you have anything to say?' Sarah demanded, raising her tear-soaked face to look at him accusingly.

'No.' Hawke said. He let go of her and walked away.

He didn't even know where he was going until he reached Airwolf. He'd parked her on the roof and the late evening sun bathed her in a warm russet orange. He leaned back against her nose, folded his arms and stared out at the cityscape in front of him unseeingly.

If he hadn't been so caught up in running away the past few months; if he'd realised what was going on...maybe he could have stopped the bomb...maybe he could have prevented Mike lying in a hospital bed with potential brain damage and the ruination of his sister's happiness...

Hawke sighed.

He missed Dom.

He always missed Dom but he missed Dom more when he needed the older man for his wisdom and support. He wondered what Dom would have made what had happened; Hawke's involvement. He could almost hear him in his head...

'It's not your fault, kid.'

Hawke frowned and turned around. His father stood by the tail, one arm resting atop it.

Alan walked forward. 'Sarah's upset. She needs to blame somebody...'

'She's right to blame me.' Hawke cut in.

'No, she's not.' Alan said forcefully. 'The only person to blame is the person who planted the bomb.'

Hawke stared ahead moodily. 'What if they planted the bomb to get to me?'

'Then they missed.' Alan said calmly. 'Still not your fault, String.' He paused. 'Dom would have told you the same.'

Hawke was surprised into looking at him.

'You know all the way up here, I was thinking what would Dom have said to you.' Alan sighed. 'I know you miss him; I miss him too.'

'I'm sorry.' Hawke felt compelled to apologise. It wasn't that he didn't love his father – he did. Maybe it was just that Dom had occupied that role for longer, or maybe it was some part of him still didn't trust that his father had come home, Hawke mused.

'Don't be.' Alan said. 'It wasn't your fault you were raised by Dom.' He rubbed his chin. 'But I'm thinking I haven't kept my promise to him.'

Hawke looked at him inquiringly.

'Maybe I should have noticed what you've been going through the last few months.' Alan commented.

'You've been recovering from a heart attack, Dad.' Hawke pointed out. 'And the last time I looked I was an adult; I make my own mistakes.'

'You don't trust we're not going to disappear on you.' Alan said bluntly. 'You haven't trusted that since we came back and it's been twelve years.'

'I lost you when I was twelve.' Hawke shot back.

Alan stared at him. 'Ah, String...'

Hawke turned away from his father. He swallowed hard against his surging emotions.

'I can't promise you I'm going to live forever, son.' Alan said gently.

Hawke managed a short laugh. 'Caitlin said the same thing to me when we got together.'

'Your wife is a wise woman.' Alan said. He waited a moment. 'What did you say?'

'That she was going to have to be patient with me.' Hawke replied. He shook his head. 'I don't know why she stays with me.'

'She loves you.' Alan pointed out. 'We all do.'

Hawke pressed his lips together.

'I wish I could take back everything that happened to you,' Alan said quietly, 'every loss; every hurt. But I can't. Only you can stop what happened in the past running your life right now.'

Hawke nodded jerkily. 'I know it.' He did know it. He'd given into his fears in the past three months; pushed his family away hard and he hurt them. He could still picture the wariness in Nicky's eyes. He couldn't do it again, Hawke realised. He had to find a way to live with his demons because he was damned if he was going to hurt his son, his daughter or his wife again.

'But if you need me or your Mom; we're here.' Alan added quietly.

Hawke looked at him. He held his gaze. 'I know that too.' He managed.

Alan nodded. He gestured back towards the roof entrance. 'Are you going to come back inside?'

'You should go.' Hawke said. 'Sarah needs you.'

'She needs you too.' Alan said. 'Come on.'

Hawke cast one last look at the sky and followed after his father.

\---

It wasn't a forest which was weird because Mike could have sworn when he'd come to and managed somehow to get the helmet off before passing out again that he had landed in the middle of a clearing in the middle of a forest.

Mike stared out at the stretch of white beach and wondered where the hell he was. Wherever it was, it felt real. Sand slipped between his bare toes; a breeze brushed over his skin and through his wavy blond hair. He could feel the warmth of the sun through his Air Force t-shirt; through the heavy denim of his jeans. The waves crashing along the empty shore were the purest blue framed with brilliantly white foam.

A child's laughter caught his ear and he glanced over his shoulder. His heart clenched tightly at the sight of the six year old.

Isabella Jane Hawke.

She was Saint John's and Jo's little girl; named after both grandmothers. She was dressed in a pink swimsuit and happily engaged it seemed in building a sandcastle. He wandered over to her.

'Hi, Bella.' Mike crouched down, his heart in his throat as he took in her shining hazel eyes and the way the sun turned her hair to burnished gold. She would have been a heartbreaker if she'd lived, Mike mused sadly.

'Hi, Uncle Mike!' Bella offered him a shell. 'You're not supposed to be here.'

'I'm not?' Mike took the shell and examined the fragile white fan-shaped object before setting it aside. 'Where is _here_?'

'Here.' Bella said firmly, patting another lump of sand into place.

'Right. Here.' Mike said. Clearly, he was supposed to know where he was. Was he dead? He felt a little faint at the idea and hurriedly sat down fully on the sand. 'What are you doing here?'

'Waiting.' Bella said simply, focused on her sandcastle.

'What for?' Mike asked confused.

Bella looked up at him. 'Mommy, of course.'

A memory stirred and made him shiver. Mike looked around again. It was _the_ beach, he realised; the beach where Bella had died. Only in reality it was usually packed with sunbathers and surfers; families enjoying the LA sun and sea.

Jo had taken Bella out for the day. She'd been distracted by a tourist couple asking for directions, had turned away from her daughter building a sandcastle behind her to point out the way and had turned back to find Bella gone. The little girl had apparently taken her bucket down to the sea to get some water for the sandcastle but had gone too far into the water and slipped; she'd bumped her head on a rock on the bottom of the ocean, fallen unconscious and drowned as the sea carried her further away from shore with each wave.

Saint John had never blamed her but Jo had never forgiven herself, and in the end she hadn't been able to stay in LA or with Saint John.

The whole thing was such a tragic waste of a life, of a marriage, of a love, in Mike's opinion.

Bella handed him a small red spade. 'You can build the moat.'

Mike accepted the spade with dignity and began to dig.

A shadow fell over them and Mike looked up. He froze. He'd never met the man but he recognised Dominic Santini.

Dom beamed at him; a gap-toothed grin that lit up his swarthy face and made his eyes twinkle. He wore a shiny blue jacket and an equally shiny red hat emblazoned with the Santini logo. 'You must be Mike.'

'I must be dead.' Mike countered shakily. 'You're a ghost.'

Dom laughed raucously. 'Ah, it's been a long time since anyone assumed they were dead when I appeared.' He slapped Mike's back hard and Mike jolted forward.

'Ow.' Mike offered.

Dom waved into the distance. 'Come on. Let's take a walk.'

Mike looked at Bella, unsure whether he could leave her.

'Don't worry,' Dom reassured him, 'she's as safe as houses.'

Of course she was safe, Mike chastised himself; Bella was dead. He got to his feet.

'Bye, Uncle Mike!' Bella said waving at him.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. 'Be good,' he murmured, 'and if you can't be good...'

'Be cute.' Bella giggled, completing the refrain he'd taught her.

Mike blinked back tears and nodded. He caught up with Dom.

'So if I'm not dead...' Mike began awkwardly.

'You're somewhere in between.' Dom confirmed. 'Like Bella.'

'But Bella's dead.' Mike said confused.

'She doesn't understand that. She's waiting for Jo.' Dom said. 'That's why she's here.'

'And why am I here?' Mike asked bluntly. 'Not that I'm not grateful that I'm not dead,' he said, pausing to check he'd made sense, 'but I'd like to get back to my life.' _Back to Sarah._

'I know, kid.' Dom said kindly. He stopped and looked at him seriously. 'You're here because you need to be here.'

Mike frowned.

'Airwolf was sabotaged.' Dom's expression darkened; his brow lowered. 'But you know that already.'

'The bomb kind of gave it away.' Mike quipped dryly.

Dom smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. 'String's in trouble.'

'They were after him not Airwolf.' Mike surmised.

'And by the time they work that out, it'll be too late.' Dom said urgently. 'You have to get back and warn him! Caitlin's life depends on it.'

Mike breathed in sharply. 'They're going to go after Caitlin to draw Hawke out?'

Dom nodded. 'I can't do anything but you can.'

Mike looked at him. 'How?' He waved his arms. 'How do I get back?'

Dom gestured at him. 'You'll think of something.'

'I'll think of...' Mike glared at him. 'Is that all the advice you have?'

'Caitlin managed it somehow.' Dom pointed out briskly. 'You just have to do whatever it was she did.'

'And what did she do?' Mike demanded, placing his hands on his hips.

Dom held his gaze. 'She didn't give up.' The bulky figure began to fade away like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. 'Hawkes don't give up!'

Mike stared at the patch of sunlight where Dom had stood. 'Well, I'm not a Hawke!' He yelled.

'Seems to me if you're marrying a Hawke, it kind of makes you one of them.'

Mike whirled around and stared at the African-American man stood behind him. The grey suit was too much for the beach but it was so Locke Mike forgot for a moment to breathe. 'Jason?'

The former Company agent nodded. 'At your service.'

Mike sprang forward and hugged his friend. Locke had died after being taken hostage and brainwashed by Giovanni Cordelli. He'd missed the other man in the years since. 'You look good.'

'For a ghost.' Locke qualified. 'I'm here to help you.'

'Thank God.' Mike said. 'Because I'm not sure where I start.'

Locke smiled at him. 'You're the one who found Airwolf, Rivers. Why don't you start there?'

Mike sighed and looked around for a car. A silver convertible appeared in the distance, parked up by the edge of the sand. He started walking towards it, Locke beside him. 'This isn't going to be easy, is it?'

'Never is.' Locke agreed with an easy smile. 'Why don't you tell me about the woman brave enough to marry you while we get there?'

Mike slung an arm around his friend. 'She's beautiful...'

'That goes without saying.' Locke commented.

'Smart...'

'Which begs the question why she's with you.' Locke rejoined.

'And I love her.' Mike said seriously. 'I have to get back to her.'

'We'll get you back to her.' Locke said.

'Is that a promise?' Mike asked as they reached the car.

'That's a promise.' Locke held Mike's gaze for a heartbeat before he reached into a pocket and brought out a set of keys. 'I'm driving.'

Mike sighed dramatically but he got in the passenger seat. He trusted Locke would get him to wherever he needed to go.

\---

Hawke fingered the bruise on his lower jaw and reflected that his sister had a hell of a right hook. He changed position on the narrow bench. They were waiting in a different corridor but it seemed to be pretty much the same as the last one. Beyond the double doors his sister was with Mike.

Michael had taken Angelina and Seb for something to eat; Saint John, Chris and his father had gone with them, leaving Jo and Hawke alone to wait in silence.

Jo shifted on the bench and rubbed her arms as though she was cold.

'You OK?' Hawke asked gruffly. Her presence filled him with mixed feelings. She was all he had left of Dom in many ways and he understood why she had left but he couldn't forget how much she had hurt Saint John.

'Fine.' Jo said. 'Just worried about Mike.'

Hawke nodded. Michael had arranged for a specialist neurosurgeon to fly in and consult but the outlook seemed grim. Mike remained in a coma. Hawke shifted restlessly. He felt useless. There was nothing any of them could do to help; Sarah was the best person by Mike's side. If he was going to come back for anyone it would be Sarah, Hawke considered seriously. Maybe it was time he suggested that he, Michael and Angelina headed back to LA.

He'd called Caitlin and gotten the news from her and Marella that both Lydia and Henman were missing. Both their addresses on record had been searched by Michael's team of agents; they'd found nothing. A deeper background check had revealed that the two were related. Step-brother and sister. Lydia's mother had apparently married Henman's father at some point.

Hawke closed his eyes briefly. He had a vague memory of some party in his youth; Polly introducing him to Lydia's brother. He remembered paying little attention to the guy, whispering the suggestion to Polly for them to leave, find somewhere more private. He'd been more interested in spending time with his girlfriend than noticing her best friend's brother.

Apparently Henman was something of a known mercenary operating under any number of aliases. Marella couldn't work out why their intel had failed on his background check but had suggested Lydia must have had a hand in that. Caitlin had acknowledged that the evidence against Lydia was fairly circumstantial and tied mainly to her knowing Henman. It wasn't clear whether Lydia was being coerced or whether she was working with him.

'You OK?' Jo asked.

He opened his eyes. 'Better than Mike.'

Jo grimaced. 'This wasn't your fault, String.'

Hawke shrugged.

'Any news?' Jo asked.

'Henman and Lydia are missing.' Hawke said. 'Marella's coordinating with local law enforcement in LA, trying to track them down.'

'It's probable they're long gone.' Jo agreed. Her eyes sparked with frustration. 'You'll get them.'

'We will.' Hawke agreed. They'd messed with the wrong people.

'Caitlin looked well.' Jo said. 'So did the kids.'

'They're all fine.' Hawke said quietly.

'Still at Red Star?' Jo checked.

He sighed. 'Caitlin was going to take the kids and Mom back to the cabin. They think Henman may have placed additional explosives at Red Star.' It was better Caitlin, his Mom and the kids were off the base, Hawke reassured himself. Henman's target had been Airwolf; Red Star was a good secondary target. It didn't stop the worry eating at his gut though and Hawke wondered at it.

'How are you?' He asked.

'Surviving.' Jo shrugged.

There was a long silence.

'I miss him.'

She said the words so quietly that Hawke almost didn't hear them. He looked across at her. She sat with her head bent, her arms tight around her.

'He loves you.' Hawke replied.

'I love him too.' Jo looked up and he wasn't surprised to see the tears in her eyes. 'I just can't be with him.'

'Isn't it worse to be without him?' Hawke asked bluntly. He'd pushed people away too often himself not to know the consequences. If he ever actually lost Cait...it didn't bear thinking about.

'Maybe.' Jo admitted, swiping at her face. 'But I don't know how I find my way back.'

'If I can do it, you can.' Hawke said. He held out an arm and Jo slid towards him.

'God, I wish Uncle Dom was here.' Jo said, through her tears.

'Me too.' Hawke admitted.

Jo shuffled backwards out of his comfort and he handed her a tissue. She smiled at him gratefully and gestured at his jaw. 'You're going to have a heck of a bruise.'

'Sarah has a heck of a punch.' Hawke said dryly.

'She didn't mean it.' Jo said, picking up on the regret he'd tried to hide. 'You're her favourite brother, you know.'

'She works with Saint John.' Hawke said surprised.

'But she relates more to you.' Jo said. 'She spent a lot of the time on the outside of your family, String. Just like you. She gets it takes time before you feel part of it again.'

Hawke didn't know what to say. He'd never realised Sarah felt that way; he wondered what else he'd missed.

Jo patted his arm.

The double doors suddenly burst open and Sarah barrelled out. She looked around wildly before settling on Hawke.

'You have to come with me now!' Sarah said. She caught hold of his arm and started to drag him. He didn't argue; he just let her pull him through the corridor and into the isolation room. His eyes widened at the sight of Mike in the bed, wrapped in bandages and looking pale and fragile – but Mike's eyes were open and alert.

'Hey.' Hawke greeted him. He darted a look at his sister. 'Shouldn't you get a doctor in here?'

'Not yet.' Mike said weakly. He gestured for Hawke to come closer. 'I need to tell you...' He coughed a little and Sarah helped him take another sip of water. 'Had a weird dream...only I don't think it was a dream...'

'OK.' Hawke said slowly.

'Dom said you were the target.' Mike whispered and a shiver went down Hawke's spine.

' _I'll always be backing you, kid.'_ Dom's words echoed through Hawke's head.

'You have to...to warn Caitlin...' Mike continued.

Hawke quickly placed a hand on his arm and squeezed. 'I get it, Mike. Rest up.' He looked at his sister. 'Get the doctor.'

Sarah nodded and left the room again.

Mike looked at him. 'You need to go.'

'In a minute.' Hawke said, although everything in him screamed to leave. 'What else did Dom say?'

'Nothing.' Mike sighed. 'Just that.'

'OK.' Hawke said. He eased away from the bedside.

'Hawke.' Mike said urgently, forcing Hawke to look back at him. 'You gonna go after them?'

'Yeah.'

'Say hello to them for me.' Mike said, his eyes closing as he fought to hold onto consciousness.

The doctor rushed into the room with a nurse and Hawke stepped out. He looked at Sarah. 'I have to go.'

'I know.' Sarah hugged him. 'Go.'

Hawke rushed down the corridor. Jo was already on her feet, pacing, but the others were hurrying into view somehow alerted to the news of Mike's awakening.

'String?' Saint John asked anxiously.

'He's awake and talking.' Hawke said succinctly.

Saint John gave a whoop and without thinking, picked up Jo and whirled her around.

'Thank God for that!' Alan said as he patted Chris's shoulder.

'What's wrong, Hawke?' Michael asked, his arm around his daughter.

'Mike said he had a dream; Dom told him that I was the target and Caitlin could be in danger.' Hawke explained. 'I have to go.'

'It was a dream.' Seb protested.

'No, son.' Alan countered. He nodded at Hawke. 'Go.'

'I'm coming with you.' Saint John said.

'Then I'm coming too.' Seb added.

'No,' Michael asserted, 'you're injured. I'll go.' He kissed Angelina's forehead as she started to protest. 'Let's go.'

They all made their way to Airwolf in silence.

Hawke got into the pilot's chair and waited impatiently for the others to take their places. 'Michael, raise Caitlin at the cabin.'

Michael tried. He cleared his throat. 'No response.'

Hawke stiffened and punched the start button. 'Hang on.' He said grimly. Airwolf took to the night sky and Hawke called for the turbos. He needed speed; he needed to get to his family before Henman and Lydia.

o-O-o

Caitlin sat down on the bench outside the cabin and blew on the mug of chocolate she held. The sun had set an hour before and the evening chill was beginning to permeate through her clothing.

It had been a long day.

She closed her eyes and breathed in the crisp air, letting her lungs fill with cold before breathing out again. She could hear Amelia playing the piano to Jane inside. Nicky was on clean-up duty and she was taking advantage of that to have five minutes to clear her head and just process what had happened during the last twenty-four hours.

Thank God Hawke had come to his senses. She knew he'd hurt her during the last few months; he hadn't talked to her really, hadn't spent time with her; hadn't communicated with her. He'd made love to her but that had been the only times she'd felt loved or connected. It felt good to know that he had seen what he was doing in pushing them away and had stopped. She'd felt cared for when he'd looked after her in the bathroom that morning; cherished. Even with heading to Wyoming, he'd also checked in with her regularly. It felt like they'd gotten back onto an even keel and she needed that stability especially with the baby.

Her hand slid over her flat belly. She had wanted another child but, after Amelia, the medical advice had been clear. She had accepted that she wouldn't have another child but finding herself unexpectedly pregnant...

It was scary. Not in the way that having Nicky had been or even Amelia. She wasn't worried about whether she could handle being a Mom, whether she could handle multiple children. It was scary because she knew she was at risk; the baby was at risk. She took a slow breath and forced herself to relax. They'd get through it, and it was a risk worth taking.

Caitlin shivered and wrapped her jacket around body tighter. If she was relieved Hawke had realised the truth because of what it meant for their day to day lives, she was also relieved because of the more immediate consequence: his being absent from the mission that day. She would never wish anything happening to anybody but she was just so thankful that Hawke hadn't been in Airwolf when it had exploded; thankful it wasn't him lying in a hospital bed with potential brain damage.

The cabin door opened and Caitlin looked up as Jane stepped out.

Her mother-in-law sat down on the bench beside her and looked out onto the dark lake with a sigh. 'Amelia's playing is so beautiful.'

'She's very talented.' Caitlin agreed with a smile. 'Like her Grandma.'

Jane smiled back. 'Is it wrong that I'm happy one of my grandchildren prefers music to flying?'

Caitlin laughed. 'They are Hawkes.'

'Yes, they are.' She slid a look at Caitlin. 'So, how are things?'

Caitlin regarded her fondly and Jane gave a half-embarrassed shrug.

'I know I always say I'm not going to be the interfering mother-in-law but,' Jane winced, 'String's behaviour has been a little hard to miss.'

'He got spooked.' Caitlin said briefly. 'He's over it.'

Jane looked at her. 'Spooked?'

'Alan's heart attack reminded him too much of the past and it freaked him out.' Caitlin expanded.

Jane sighed sadly. 'You know every time I think we've just gotten over all the years apart, something will happen that makes me realise it hasn't been forgotten at all.'

'What happened, happened.' Caitlin said. 'It's a part of who y'all are.'

'My son is lucky to have you.' Jane replied. 'Not many women would be so understanding.'

'I love him.' Caitlin said.

'What about this woman, Lydia?' Jane asked pointedly.

Caitlin shifted uncomfortable with the question. 'He could be right about her.' She conceded. 'She could be a victim in all this; as used as Hawke was.'

'But you're not sure.'

'No.' Caitlin admitted. 'I still think her interest in him was personal.' She sipped her chocolate and let the drink warm her. 'But then,' she sighed, 'I could just be letting the fact that she's spent more time with my husband than I have for the past month influence my point of view.'

'I'm glad the two of you sorted things out.' Jane said. 'I'm very fond of you, Caitlin, and I would have hated to have lost another daughter-in-law.'

Caitlin touched her arm. 'Thank you.'

Jane grimaced. 'Do you think Jo will stay for long after the wedding?'

'I don't know.' Caitlin said. 'I don't think so. She finds LA too hard; too much of a reminder of Bella.'

Jane's expression saddened. 'Such a tragic loss.'

'Yes.' Caitlin's hand moved back to her abdomen almost of its own accord.

Her mother-in-law's eyes narrowed. 'Caitlin, are you...?'

Caitlin bit her lip and nodded. 'Two months.'

'Why didn't you say something?' Jane reached over and hugged her. 'Oh, congratulations!'

'Thank you.' Caitlin said briskly. 'But it's early days so...' she shrugged, not wanting to put her fears into her words.

'Does String know?' Jane asked bluntly.

'I told him earlier today.' Caitlin said. 'I only found out a few days ago myself. He's pleased; worried.'

'You'll be fine.' Jane smiled. 'I couldn't believe it when I fell pregnant with Sarah. I thought my boys would be it.'

'I can...' Caitlin stopped abruptly as a sound caught her ear.

A helicopter.

She frowned. She wasn't expecting anyone. Marella was knee deep into investigative work and she would have called if she was visiting; Hawke's last call indicated he and the rest of the family were staying in Wyoming for Sarah. There were very few people who knew the location of the cabin...including Lydia, Caitlin realised darkly. If the target hadn't been Airwolf; if it had been Hawke...

'Jane.' Caitlin stood up, placing her hot chocolate on the ground. 'Come with me.'

Jane looked at her surprised but followed her inside.

Amelia stopped playing as they entered. 'Mommy?'

Caitlin grabbed the kids' coats and hurriedly ushered them into the warm jackets. She urged Jane into hers. 'I need you all to go out the back and head for the old viewing hide.'

'Mom.' Nicky protested. 'I should stay here with you.'

'I'm going to be right behind you but I need you to look after your Grandma and sister. Take Bit.' Caitlin said, even as she retrieved the key for the shotgun cabinet and opened it. She handed Jane a gun who accepted it reluctantly.

Caitlin kissed her daughter, desperately ignoring the bright sheen of tears in Amelia's scared eyes. She hugged Nicky. 'Go.'

Jane grasped Amelia's hand in hers and gestured at Nicky who was cajoling a reluctant Bit. 'You lead the way, Nicky.'

Caitlin watched as they disappeared and she locked the back door to be certain their exit wouldn't be immediately apparent before she loaded her hand-gun and tried the satellite phone. It was dead. Maybe they were blocking it somehow, Caitlin mused as she tried to ignore the nausea rising in her gut. She had to stay strong. She had to ensure her kids had time to get safely away...

The helicopter could be clearly heard; its rotors beating loudly as it landed outside. She waited: her heart pounding in her chest and her breathing erratic. The cabin door opened and a man stepped through with a gun in his hand.

'Drew Henman, I presume?' Caitlin asked, trying to keep her voice steady as she aimed her own weapon. He looked vaguely familiar; tight dark hair atop a ruddy face that was set in a glower. She realised she had seen him around Red Star.

'And you are Hawke's wife.' Henman said. He motioned at her with his gun. 'Put the weapon down.'

'I don't think so.' Caitlin said.

'I don't want to hurt you but I will.' Henman smiled cruelly. 'You're not the one I want.'

Caitlin looked at him. 'You won't get Hawke. He's not here.'

'No,' Henman agreed, 'but he'll come looking for you.' He aimed the weapon as though he meant business. 'Now either you come with me or I kill you and comb this mountain for your children. Which is it going to be?'

Caitlin waited a beat and set down the gun. She knew she couldn't risk fighting – not when she was pregnant; not when her children were at stake. She walked on unsteady legs over to Henman before pushing past him and walking on towards the chopper. She was only too aware of Henman's gun pointed at her as she got in the back as he instructed. Lydia sat mutely in the pilot's seat. The other woman said nothing as Henman ordered them into the air.

The cabin disappeared into a speak as they rose into the dark sky and Caitlin felt her fear skitter up and down her spine as she tried to remain calm. Her children were safe; that was the important thing. And Hawke would come for her; she knew that.

She just had to stay safe, to stay alive, until then.

\---

The clearing in front of the cabin was teeming with activity when Hawke brought Airwolf into land. His heart was in his throat as he viewed the scores of people Marella had brought in to investigate. Michael had contacted her when they hadn't been able to raise Caitlin on the phone and Marella had personally flown to the cabin to check on his family only to find it empty.

Hawke's jaw tightened. Who the hell were all these people? And what the hell were they doing to find Caitlin and the kids?

Saint John reached over and touched his arm. 'Come on.'

Hawke pushed open Airwolf's door and got out.

Marella hurried over; her white flight suit bright under the artificial lights that had been set up to illuminate the area. 'Hawke.'

Michael placed a comforting hand on Hawke's shoulder and nodded at her encouragingly. 'What's the news?'

'There's a shotgun missing and we've found evidence of tracks leading into the hills.' Marella said. 'We think it's likely that either all of them or at least your Mom and the kids headed away from the cabin possibly to hide from a potential threat.'

Hawke's eyes sharpened as he considered her words. 'The old viewing hide.' He looked at Saint John. 'That's where they would have gone.'

Saint John nodded. 'We can check it out in Airwolf.'

'I'll stay here.' Michael said. 'You'll need the room.'

Hawke didn't bother to waste time agreeing, he immediately turned for the chopper.

'Hawke.' Marella said quickly. 'There's a possibility Caitlin's not with them.' Her dark eyes glittered with half-hidden fear. 'We found her handgun on the bar.'

He stiffened but his only response was to yank open Airwolf's door and climb aboard.

Saint John stayed in the counter-specialist chair and Hawke took her back up swiftly. The viewing hide was less than a five minute flight from the cabin. As soon as they were airborne, Hawke ordered Airwolf to begin scanning.

'She's picking up four life signs at the hide.' Saint John said. 'Three human and a dog.'

Hawke didn't comment. He set down; pushing through the canopy of trees to lower Airwolf to the ground. They both got out and ran for the hide.

His mother stepped out as they ran up; Amelia and Nicky not too far behind her. Hawke dropped to the ground and hugged Amelia to him as she threw herself at him, crying. Nicky hovered but moved forward when Hawke gestured for his son to join them. Hawke was aware of Saint John, reassuring their mother; comforting her.

Bit jumped around, barking enthusiastically.

Hawke eased back. 'Let's get you all into Airwolf and back to the cabin.'

Jane waited until the kids and Bit were secure with Saint John in the back before she turned to Hawke as she made to get into the passenger seat. 'String, Caitlin...she said she would follow us.'

'We'll check the trail.' He said gruffly.

But as they made a second sweep of the area, there was nothing but wildlife. Hawke landed Airwolf again outside the cabin and they disembarked quickly. He noticed Michael had evidently ordered the circus packed up as it looked like the investigatory team were making preparations to leave. Hawke ushered his family into the warmth of their home and found only Michael and Marella by the bar, on the phone.

Hawke turned to his mother, all too aware of the wide-eyed curiosity and fear in his children's faces. 'Can you get the kids sorted for bed, Mom?'

'Sure.' Jane said briskly. She motioned for both of them to precede her into the back of the cabin and Hawke waited until the connecting door was shut before he turned his attention to Michael.

'Understood.' Michael said. He dropped the receiver back into the briefcase and turned to Hawke. 'We have satellite imagery confirming that an unknown helicopter on an unlogged flight plan landed here and took off within the last three hours.'

'Damn it. He has her, doesn't he?' Hawke stated, rubbing a hand through his hair.

'We don't know for certain,' Marella began, her voice trailing away at his hard gaze, 'but it looks that way.'

Hawke's eyes caught on the handgun Caitlin had left behind. She wouldn't have fought; not with the baby. He whirled away and paced back to the fire.

'Are there any leads on where this guy might have taken her?' Saint John asked when Hawke remained silent.

'Not yet.' Marella said. 'We're pulling his life and Lydia's apart right now.'

'They have to have a base somewhere in the area.' Saint John said bluntly, reminding Hawke that his brother used to be a good agent; used to do the same work of investigating and tracking down the bad guys that Hawke had never left behind.

'Agreed.' Michael smoothed his moustache. 'And that property has to have a helicopter.' He turned back to his wife. 'Marella...'

'Satellite images of helicopters in remote locations in the immediate area.' She said. 'On it.' She picked up the phone as Michael abandoned the bar and walked over to the fire to join Hawke.

Saint John followed him.

'He's probably going to contact you anyway.' Michael said, trying to console Hawke.

'Because I'm the target.' Hawke said bitterly.

'The question is why.' Michael added.

'What the hell does that matter?' Hawke bit out. He looked at a wedding snap of him and Caitlin they kept on the mantelpiece, an informal shot of the two of them smiling, about to embrace a beaming Dom. He'd lost Dom: he couldn't lose Caitlin.

His mother came back out from settling the kids and walked over to hug Hawke without ceremony. He leaned into her, accepting the maternal comfort; needing it. She pulled away after a moment.

'They're in bed but they're asking for you.' Jane said. 'They have questions about what's happened to Caitlin.'

Hawke wondered what he could say to them; how much to tell them. He squeezed his mother's hand and let go.

He checked on Amelia first. She was holding on tightly to the bear that Saint John had bought her as a baby and he could see the traces of tears on her cheeks. He scooped her up from her bed with its princess pink blanket and hugged her as she cried again.

'I want Mommy!'

'I know, sweetheart.' Hawke held her tightly. 'I want her too.'

'Did she get kidnapped?' Amelia asked with the bluntness of a child.

'Yes.' Hawke admitted, stroking her hair away from her face – so like Caitlin's – and brushing the tears away. 'But we're going to get her back.' He held her for a while longer until he heard her sobs turn first into hiccups and then fade away. He tucked her back into the bed. He left the door open and her lamp on. She would wake up again; she was too upset to sleep through.

He headed to Nicky's room, tapped on the door and went inside. His son sat on the floor at the end of the bed, Bit beside him trying to give him doggy comfort.

Hawke lowered himself to sit beside them.

Nicky couldn't look at him and Hawke wondered if his son blamed him for Caitlin's abduction. God knew he blamed himself.

'It's my fault!' Nicky blurted the words out in a rush so fast that Hawke almost missed them.

He stared at his son.

'You think so too!' Nicky mumbled, tears springing into his eyes.

'No!' Hawke reached for his son and pulled him unprotesting into his arms. Nicky clung to him and Hawke could feel the hot splash of tears against his neck where his son buried his face against him. 'This is not your fault.'

'I should have protected Mom.' Nicky said wretchedly. 'I should have stayed with her.'

'And then who would have looked out for Grandma and Amelia?' Hawke countered. 'You did exactly what your Mom told you to do, Nicky.' He grasped his son's shoulders and pushed away enough to look into his eyes. 'Not your fault.'

Nicky looked down and Hawke put a finger under his chin and made him look at him again.

'Hey,' Hawke insisted, 'don't blame yourself; don't.' He was unaware of how unguarded his own blue eyes were; how pained. 'I don't want you to make the same mistake I did when I lost the people I loved.'

Nicky blinked back his tears. 'Is that why you pushed people away in the past?'

'Yes.' Hawke confessed roughly. 'I don't want you doing the same.' He looked at Nicky solemnly. 'The only person to blame for your Mom's abduction is the guy who took her and this isn't over.' His jaw firmed; steel entering his gaze. 'We're going to get her back.'

'Promise?' Nicky demanded, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

'Promise.' He didn't know how he was going to keep his promise but he knew it was a promise he intended to keep.

Nicky moved back and Hawke nudged his arm.

'Come on; bed.'

He watched as his son climbed under the covers and he let Bit jump up and flop beside Nicky; once wouldn't hurt. He ruffled Nicky's head and switched the light off.

He wandered back into the living area and sat down heavily in a chair. He lowered his head into his hands. Where the hell was Caitlin? Where would Henman have taken her? A memory filtered back into Hawke's mind...

 _Polly waved goodbye to Lydia and turned to hug Hawke's arm as they got in the Santini Air jeep. 'Thank you.'_

' _What for?' Hawke asked._

' _For rescuing me.' Polly said. She smiled up at him brightly. 'I love Lydia but if I had to listen to another hour of how she was dreading moving to her new Dad's farm, I think I would have screamed.'_

 _She reached over and kissed him. Hawke gunned the engine and drove away..._

'A farm.' Hawke said out loud.

'What?' Michael asked, looking up from the reports he was reading at the bar.

'Look for a farm owned by Henman's father.' Hawke said, getting to his feet and pacing over to his friend. He rested his hands on the smooth polished wood. 'I think that's where Henman is.'

'Make the call and get the location.' Michael said to Marella. He turned back to Hawke. 'We should get airborne.'

'I'm coming with you.' Saint John said.

Hawke shook his head. 'I need you and Marella to stay here. Look after the kids and Mom. If Henman is playing some kind of double bluff and circles back here...'

Saint John gave a huff of annoyance but nodded.

Hawke led Michael out of the cabin and the two men climbed into Airwolf again.

'You know I don't think I spent this much time in this Airwolf when she was in operation.' Michael commented.

Hawke's lips twitched. 'I never would have let you spend this much time in her.' He turned around and looked at Michael. A lot had changed between them since those days.

Marella ran up and put her head through the passenger door. She reached in and handed Hawke a disc. 'The location of the farm is on the disc. I've contacted Zebra squad to give you back up.'

'Thanks, Marella.' Hawke said gratefully.

'Stay safe.' She cast a look into the back to Michael before she retreated and closed Airwolf's door.

Hawke passed the CD to Michael and hit the start button. Adrenaline flooded through him edged with determination. He knew he was on the right track. Hang on, Cait, Hawke thought fiercely; just hang on.

'Location coordinates set.' Michael agreed.

'Turbos.' Hawke said tightly as he took her up.

'Turbos.'

Airwolf shot forward into the darkness.

o-O-o

Caitlin glanced around the poorly lit barn with a studied eye as Henman tied the ropes tightly around her wrists.

'Just be good and you might get out of this alive.' Henman said with a smirk as he gave the rope another yank.

She didn't believe him. She figured he'd kill her as soon as Hawke showed up.

Henman marched over to Lydia who cowered back against the barn wall and avoided his eyes. 'Keep an eye on her. She escapes and I'll punish you.'

Lydia nodded jerkily. She looked like a broken doll, Caitlin realised. She was beginning to believe Hawke's assessment that Lydia had been bullied by Drew. Henman left them alone and Caitlin tested the ropes that bound her to the chair. They were tight on her wrists. She looked at the woman in front of her tiredly. She wet her dry lips and cleared her throat.

'Lydia,' Caitlin said softly, 'could I have some water?'

Lydia looked at her blankly as though surprised that Caitlin had talked.

'Please.' Caitlin said.

It took a long moment before Lydia reacted. She moved slowly towards the bench at the far side and poured some water into a glass. She returned to Caitlin and held the glass while Caitlin sipped.

'Thank you.'

Lydia looked shocked again and Caitlin wondered if Drew ever thanked her for anything.

'Is this your home?' Caitlin asked gently.

Lydia shook her head. 'Drew's.' She pointed towards the east of the barn. 'His father owns the farm.'

'Is his father here?' Caitlin asked, hoping someone else was around who might be able to help them.

'No.' Lydia gave a brittle laugh. 'Drew killed him.' She said it so matter-of-factly that Caitlin shivered. 'Drew needed the farm.'

'What for?' Caitlin asked.

'To bring them.'

'Who?'

'The Pollys.' Lydia said as though Caitlin should have known.

Caitlin's blood turned cold at the inference.

'He loved her.' Lydia said almost absently. She was rubbing her hands together as though washing them; like MacBeth's wife in the Scottish play – 'Out, out, damn spot!' Caitlin wondered how much blood Lydia thought her hands were steeped in.

Lydia looked at Caitlin suddenly. 'Drew always wanted Polly but she was with Hawke. It was only ever Hawke for her.'

'I know the feeling.' Caitlin said quietly.

'She would have liked you.' Lydia said. 'She was so beautiful; inside and out, you know? She was my friend and he...'

'What did he do?' Caitlin pressed.

Lydia swiped away her tears. 'He played with her car; told her he was fixing it. Hawke was supposed to drive; he always drove but...'

'But he didn't drive that day.' Caitlin murmured.

'Polly was driving and Hawke was in the passenger seat; he got thrown free when it should have been Polly.' Lydia confessed roughly. 'It should have been Polly who lived.'

Caitlin felt tears pricking the back of her own eyes and forced herself to focus. 'You miss her.'

'All the time.' Lydia admitted. 'She was my friend.'

Caitlin inched forward as far as the ropes would allow. 'Lydia, I need your help. You know why Drew's brought me here.'

'Hawke.' Lydia sobbed. 'He's going to kill Hawke.' She glanced at Caitlin and suddenly Caitlin knew her own instincts hadn't been too far off; Lydia loved Hawke. Maybe Lydia's original action in making contact had been prompted by Drew but maybe Hawke's attention in the past few months had made some kind of impression...

'You don't want that to happen, do you?' Caitlin pressed.

Lydia shook her head. 'No choice; there's no choice. I went to warn him but he wasn't there and...' She shook with quiet sobs. 'Drew will punish me.'

Caitlin didn't want to know how Drew would punish the other woman, she had her suspicions, but she needed Lydia's help; needed it desperately. 'You have to set me free, Lydia.' She argued patiently. 'You have to set me free then Hawke won't come; Drew won't kill him.'

'I can't.' Lydia shook her head wildly. 'I can't.'

'Please.' Caitlin said desperately. 'Lydia, I'm pregnant. I can't risk my baby; please.'

Lydia trembled as she wiped the tears away from her eyes. 'Polly would have liked you.' She walked away and Caitlin believed for a long heartbeat that she hadn't gotten through to the other woman. But suddenly Lydia picked something up from the bench; a knife. She made her way back to Caitlin and began to cut through the ropes.

'Thank you.' Caitlin said.

'You can't tell him.' Lydia said. 'He can't know.'

'I won't.' Caitlin promised futilely, knowing Drew would understand what had happened as soon as he realised she was free.

Lydia continued to work on the ropes and Caitlin held her breath. If Drew came back before Lydia was free...

The ropes finally gave way and Caitlin massaged the faint red marks that banded her wrists. A howl broke the silence overhead; Airwolf.

Caitlin looked around the barn and spotted the ladder to the upper landing; a skylight to the roof. She grabbed Lydia's hand. 'Come on.'

They were on the landing when Drew entered.

'Hey!' He aimed his gun and fired. The shot went wild and Caitlin ducked automatically. She pulled a frozen Lydia towards the skylight.

Drew fired again and the shot landed in the dry hay, setting it alight. The barn was on fire. Caitlin pushed the skylight open and climbed out onto the roof. She reached back for Lydia. 'Come on! Come with me!'

Lydia reached up but a shot sounded loudly and her body jerked, falling sideways out of Caitlin's reach. Caitlin felt her throat close-up with fear as she raised her eyes to look at Drew's deadly expression. He raised the gun again and she moved, throwing herself away from the skylight across the roof as he fired.

Airwolf screamed overhead and Caitlin scrambled up the barn's exterior and waved her arms. The chopper lowered; hovering above the barn to allow Caitlin to climb into the passenger seat.

Hawke looked at her assessingly and she answered his silent question by reaching across and squeezing his arm.

'Let's get out of here.' She said.

'Henman's airborne.' Michael said crisply from the engineer's position. 'I'm reading sidewinders and guns.'

Hawke raised Airwolf just as Henman let loose with a missile. It exploded into the barn which was consumed in flame.

Caitlin spared a thought for Lydia before she focused on Hawke's flying. He was headed away from the farm, gaining altitude. Henman followed him and there was a jolt as the first of the shrapnel from the chain guns hit the side of the chopper. Caitlin flinched even though she knew Airwolf's armour would protect them.

'Sunburst.' Hawke ordered.

Michael confirmed the release of the counter-measure.

'Set her down, Henman!' Hawke ordered. 'You don't have a chance.'

Henman fired another missile. Hawke evaded, sending Airwolf one way then another; the missile flew past into a hillside, exploding in a shower of dirt.

Hawke used the moment of confusion to change positions; he slowed allowing the other chopper to overshoot them.

Henman was in front. He tried losing them but Hawke stuck to his tail, following him through the weaving and ducking motions until they were above open country.

'Red eye.' Hawke said coldly.

'Red eye.' Michael confirmed.

Hawke's thumb pressed down and the missile leaped out from Airwolf's belly into the night.

Henman had no time to respond; no time to avoid it. His chopper exploded as Airwolf screamed her victory into the night sky.

Silence filled the cockpit and Hawke turned anxiously to Caitlin.

She reached across again. 'I'm fine.' She looked at him worriedly. 'Are the kids...'

'They're good.' Hawke assured her. He set Airwolf on autopilot and slid his hand over hers, linking their fingers tightly. 'Let's go home.'

\---

The early morning mist hung over the lake like a blanket, turning the water into a shimmering silver that glistened like a mirror. Hawke shifted on the bench and gazed out as the eagle dived for its breakfast before ascending, wings beating powerfully as it gained momentum. Bit stirred at his feet, getting up and circling round, before dropping back into his original position.

It had been a week since Hawke had gone flying in Airwolf; a week since the new Airwolf had exploded; a week since Henman had kidnapped Caitlin and Hawke had brought her home again...

A sound by the cabin door drew his attention and he raised an eyebrow as Caitlin padded over to sit beside him. She handed him a large mug as she leaned into him. He switched the mug into his other hand and hugged her to him, enjoying the warmth that flooded through him as she cuddled him.

He took a sip, pulled a face at the herbal tea and handed it back to her. 'I could have had coffee.'

'If I have to suffer, you have to suffer.' Caitlin drawled dryly. It was a rule she'd established when she'd been pregnant with Amelia. She took a gulp of the drink, pulled her own face at the taste and handed it back.

He kissed the top of her head.

Caitlin sighed contentedly. 'You set for picking Mike and Sarah up later?'

'Yeah.' Hawke shrugged, nudging her head under his shoulder.

'Nicky's excited about going with you.' Caitlin commented. Her fingers played with the buttons on his shirt.

Hawke's lips curved. Rescuing Caitlin from Henman and bringing her home had done a lot to repair his relationship with his son and Hawke had made an effort in the past week to spend time with him. When Nicky had asked to go along with him to pick up Mike, he hadn't been able to say no.

'You know Michael's not going to like him being in Airwolf.' Caitlin murmured.

'He'll be fine.' Hawke said dismissively. He nudged her. 'How about you?'

Caitlin blew out a huff of annoyance that he'd picked up on her worry. 'One of the Airwolf choppers did just blow up you know. I think I'm entitled to be a little concerned.'

'It's the original Airwolf.' Hawke pointed out. 'She's fine. Besides, Red Star's been confirmed clear of all explosive devices. Henman just wanted me dead.' The final report had indicated Henman had only planted a bomb on the helicopter he'd known Hawke was scheduled to fly.

'How are you doing with that?' Caitlin asked pointedly as she took the mug back and took another gulp of warm liquid.

Hawke grimaced. 'Better.' It was an admission of the guilt he still felt but he was handling it. He wasn't responsible for what Henman had done.

'You were right about Lydia.' Caitlin reminded him with enough chagrin that he knew she was beating herself up for her own assumptions about the woman who'd ultimately helped save her. 'Henman had her completely terrified.' She sighed. 'Marella said the FBI are still finding bodies out at the farm.'

'Doesn't seem real.' Hawke murmured. Caitlin's evidence of her conversation with Lydia had led to a full scale investigation of the farm. Agents had discovered Henman's father buried in the back yard and more than fifteen other graves in a nearby field. They were all blonde girls; all very much like Polly in build. Hawke shuddered, a flicker of renewed mourning for Polly drifting through him. It saddened him that her death had been caused by Henman's jealousy of him. He was just relieved Henman hadn't killed Caitlin. His arm tightened around her.

Caitlin raised her face to his and he kissed her gently.

He pulled back and smoothed a lock of her hair back behind an ear, drinking in the love in her eyes. 'Saint John was right.'

'About what?' Caitlin asked.

'I'm incredibly lucky.' Hawke admitted gruffly.

She hugged her and settled back against him. 'How's he doing with the whole Jo thing?'

'OK.' Hawke said, taking the mug for a sip of the liquid. Jo had been helping out at the airfield since Sarah stayed with Mike.

'You think they're back together?' Caitlin asked, giving up on her indirect approach.

Hawke made a face. 'I don't know.' But he hoped so. He really hoped for his brother that Jo had stopped running and found her way back.

Caitlin sighed dramatically. 'You're just no good at gossip, Hawke.'

He kissed her.

'But you are good at that.' Caitlin said breathlessly when he eased back.

His blue eyes warmed and he leaned in for another kiss...

The cabin door was flung open.

'Dad!' Nicky ran out onto the porch and gestured at him. 'Come on! We're going to be late!' He ran back inside before Hawke could respond.

Caitlin smiled at Hawke's irked expression. She patted his arm. 'And now you owe ten bucks since I bet you Nicky would be up before you had to wake him.'

'I didn't take that bet.' Hawke reminded her with a touch of exasperation.

She stuck her tongue at him. He pulled her closer and kissed her.

A couple of hours later, Hawke landed at Red Star. He changed into his Airwolf flight suit and led Nicky towards the old Airwolf hangar. He wasn't surprised to see a group waiting for them.

Michael got to his feet first. He looked at Nicky and then pointedly at Hawke. 'No.'

Hawke placed a hand on Nicky's shoulder and stared back at his friend.

They locked wills for a matter of moments.

'You know I was your age when I first flew in AIrwolf.' Angelina commented beside her father, drawing the attention of both Hawke and Michael. She smirked at her father.

Michael stroked his moustache and sighed. He pointed a finger at Nicky. 'You don't touch anything.'

Nicky grinned. 'Dad already said.'

'Yes, well.' Michael looked up at Hawke with hidden mirth. 'You should ask what happened the first time your Mom sat in Airwolf.'

Nicky looked at Hawke questioningly.

'She touched something she shouldn't; almost killed us.' Hawke explained succinctly.

'For real?' Nicky's mouth dropped open. 'Wow.'

Angelina grinned back at him. 'Excited?'

'I guess.' Nicky said, a hint of red appearing in his cheeks.

'Why don't you we get you suited up like your Dad?' Angelina said. She gestured towards the locker room and Nicky followed her eagerly.

Michael sighed as he watched his daughter leave.

'You're going to have to let her back in the cockpit soon, Michael.' Hawke said conversationally.

Michael shot him a look. 'But not today.' He waved back at the cockpit. 'Seb's adjusting her systems. I'll leave you to it.' He tapped his cane on the ground and walked away.

Hawke made for Airwolf and stuck his head inside. His younger brother was in the back at the engineer's console. 'All set?'

Seb glanced at him. 'I've done some tweaking to the systems. She'll fly better.' He looked at his older brother warily. 'You sure you don't want company?'

'No room.' Hawke said. Once they picked up Mike and Sarah, Airwolf would be full. Having Seb along would make it a tight squeeze.

'Maybe Nicky should stay here.' Seb said bluntly.

Hawke looked back at his brother evenly. He'd promised his son and he wasn't backing down.

Seb sighed and made to get out. Hawke shifted out of his way.

'Have you been by Santini Air lately?' Seb asked as he disembarked.

'Yeah.' Hawke said.

'And you have to have noticed how Saint John and Jo are together.' Seb gave a short laugh. 'You can't tell me you're not worried about it.'

Hawke shrugged. 'It's their business, Seb.'

'So you're going to just stand by and watch her hurt him again?' Seb demanded.

'All I'm saying is it's Saint John's decision if he's prepared to forgive her for pushing him away.' Hawke replied, keeping his tone even.

'Well, you would know all about pushing people away.' Seb muttered derisively.

'I would. It's easier to push someone away and be alone than it is to love someone and take the risk of getting hurt again.' Hawke folded his arms. 'But you still end up alone. Maybe Jo realised that.'

'Have you?' Seb asked without pause.

Hawke scowled. 'What's your problem with me, Seb?'

Seb flushed. He dropped his gaze and pushed a hand through his hair. 'Everyone thinks you're perfect.'

'And you don't like that.' Hawke said.

'Well, you're not perfect.' Seb retorted.

'Never claimed I was.' Hawke said exasperatedly.

Seb looked at him in surprise. He shuffled under Hawke's regard. 'I'm sorry. It's just...hard having to live up to you sometimes and then when you do screw up, nobody ever seems to call you on it.'

Hawke grimaced with chagrin; there was some truth in his brother's words. 'Dom used to.' He gestured at Seb. 'You remind me of him sometimes.'

'Really?' Seb asked startled.

'Sure.' Hawke patted his brother's arm. 'He didn't think I was perfect either.'

Seb gave a reluctant chuckle.

'Look,' Hawke said, 'I know I screwed up these last few months and I'm sorry.'

'Me too.' Seb responded. 'About giving you a hard time.'

'At least you didn't punch me.' Hawke said dryly.

Seb glanced at the yellowing bruise on Hawke's jaw and bit his lip to stop from smiling. 'Sarah does have a great hook.'

There was the sound of a door banging at the edge of the hangar and both of them turned to see Angelina leading Nicky back in a miniature flight suit.

'Where the hell did she get that?' Hawke muttered.

'Don't ask.' Seb replied wryly.

Hawke looked at him. 'You could come with us.' He allowed.

Seb shook his head. 'You need the room for Sarah and Mike. I'm good.' He looked over at his brother with a silent question in his eyes of whether they were good.

Hawke nodded almost imperceptibly.

Nicky grinned at Hawke. 'Look!'

'Impressive.' Hawke said, shooting Angelina a look.

Angelina simply smiled back at him. She grinned at Nicky. 'Have fun.'

'Keep your Dad out of trouble!' Seb said.

Hawke watched as the two of them walked out. He helped Nicky into the passenger seat; strapped him into the rarely used harness. A few minutes later, they were flying.

The blue sky was empty and silent as Airwolf carved her way through it. Hawke glanced over at his son's rapt expression as they went to mach speed and smiled. Nicky's glee reminded him of Caitlin.

'This is cool.' Nicky blurted out.

'Yeah.' Hawke agreed quietly. He adjusted his position. 'Airwolf, run system check.'

 _Running system check._ The words appeared on the pilot's monitor in front of him.

 _New pilot: Dominic Alan Hawke. Adding to pilots._

Hawke frowned at the read-out. It looked like Airwolf had decided Nicky was going to fly with her for real one day.

The trip wasn't long in Airwolf and Hawke parked on the hospital's helipad. Nicky followed Hawke through the sterile corridors to Mike's private room. Mike had recovered well since the explosion; he was covered in bruises but he was otherwise unharmed. Hawke figured it was something of a miracle given the other man's fall from the sky.

He could hear Mike laughing as they neared the room. He hauled Nicky back when his son would have just opened the door, and knocked. Nicky rolled his eyes but said nothing.

'Come in!' Mike yelled. He grinned at them as they entered; his eyes opening wide at the sight of Nicky's flight suit.

'Hey, guys.' Sarah greeted them and Hawke tried to ignore the fact that her buttons were askew on her blouse. She smiled at Nicky. 'Look at you! Don't you look...'

'Cool.' Mike hurriedly inserted.

Sarah snapped a look in his direction. 'Right. Cool.'

Hawke's lips twitched and he gestured at Mike. The other man was already dressed and looked ready to go. 'You set?'

'Completely.' Mike agreed.

'I'll go organise the discharge.' Hawke said. He backed out of the room and headed for the nurses' station. He was in the middle of signing what seemed like the hundredth form when Sarah approached him.

'Almost done.' Hawke informed her, scrawling his name again.

'I didn't come for that.' Sarah said quietly. 'I, uh, I came to apologise.' She gestured at his bruise. 'I shouldn't have hit you.'

'You had reason.' Hawke replied, his pen hovering over the next signature line. 'He got hurt because I stood down.'

'But it wasn't your fault Henman was a crazy.' Sarah rejoined. She put her arms around him and hugged him. 'I'm just glad everything worked out.'

Hawke hugged her back. 'Come on. Let's get you both home.'

They headed back to the room together. Mike scowled at the wheelchair Hawke had been instructed to use.

'I can walk.' Mike protested.

'Sure.' Hawke agreed. He helped Mike off the bed and let go of him. Mike swayed ominously and Hawke pushed him not-so-gently into the wheelchair.

'Maybe I will just use this until we get to the Lady.' Mike offered with a sigh. He looked at Sarah hopefully. 'Do we have snacks?'

Sarah nudged Nicky. 'Let's go raid the vending machine.'

'No candy bars.' Hawke instructed.

'Aw, come on.' Mike wheedled. 'I'm injured.'

Sarah winked at him and left Hawke to wheel Mike through the corridors while she and Nicky went in search of supplies.

Hawke cleared his throat as they got into the elevator to go to the roof. 'I wanted to say thank you.'

Mike looked at him oddly.

'For the heads up.' Hawke said. 'If you hadn't sent me back home...'

Mike waved away his words. 'I still can't quite get my head around it. I mean, it feels like a dream but...' he sighed. 'I know it was Dominic Santini. Just like I know I saw Bella. And it was Locke who got me back to where I was supposed to be.'

Hawke rolled the wheelchair onto the roof and Mike gave a sigh as he spotted Airwolf.

'There's nothing like the original, is there?' He said.

'No.' Hawke agreed. He paused outside Airwolf, waiting for Sarah and Nicky. They would need to sit in the back; Mike would take the front seat next to him.

'So,' Mike said, 'Saint John got the bachelor party sorted out?'

Hawke shot him a look. 'I don't think Sarah plans on you being out of her sight.'

Mike pretended to wince but his eyes gave away his own relief. 'I'm glad I didn't die. I have too much to live for, you know?'

Hawke clasped his shoulder. 'Yeah; I know.'

o-O-o

 **Epilogue**

The day was sunny which Hawke considered something of a miracle given the weather reports had all indicated rain. The church was crowded with guests. Mike's family had arrived a couple of days before and they took up one side while the Hawkes and their friends took up the other.

Hawke grasped Caitlin's hand tighter and pressed closer to her. She looked beautiful in a green summer dress and matching shawl. He hated the suit he had been cajoled into wearing, and he and Nicky had bonded in their mutual antipathy of dressing up. His son sat on the opposite side of Caitlin, clearly bored as they waited for the service to begin. Hawke took advantage of the delay to look around the rest of his family.

His mother was in the pew in front with Seb. Hawke was trying to focus on enjoying his time with his parents rather than anticipating losing them again. His relationship with Seb also seemed to have gotten to a place of understanding and Hawke was glad about that. Maybe it would give them something to build on going forward. Jo stood beside Seb. Whatever the status of her relationship with Saint John, she was being treated as one of the family and Hawke was figured Dom would have approved.

In front of his parents, Saint John and Chris stood by Mike. The three men seemed relaxed and happy; smiles and laughter seemed to be the order of the day. Hawke was pleased. He let out a slow breath.

He glanced over his shoulder and Michael smiled back at him. He and Marella were in the pew behind. Sarah had asked Angelina to be bridesmaid.

The organ began playing and they all stood.

Amelia entered first. She scattered flowers in front of her and grinned happily at her parents as she walked past. Jane manoeuvred her into the pew and beamed at her proudly.

Hawke let out a small breath of relief that his daughter's contribution had gone well as Angelina walked past in her role as chief bridesmaid.

Sarah entered on his father's arm. She looked beautiful. Her dark hair spilled out over her shoulders; her blue eyes were radiant behind her filmy veil. Alan winked at Hawke and Sarah grinned as they walked past.

Caitlin sniffed and Hawke handed her a handkerchief. They looked at each other lovingly. Hawke remembered all too well the vows they had taken; he leaned over and kissed her. She looked surprised but her eyes shone with happiness and his hand tightened on hers again as they sat down.

'Dearly beloved...'

Hawke watched as his father handed Sarah to Mike; a lump gathered in his throat as he caught sight of the tears in his father's eyes. There was a lot of history between his sister and parents. He knew his father had once thought he would never have the chance to give his daughter in marriage...Hawke glanced at Amelia. It would be him one day; handing Amelia to some guy she had fallen in love with. Hawke repressed the urge to scowl and the more pressing urge to lock Amelia in the cabin until she was fifty.

'I, Michael Daniel Rivers, take thee...' Mike's voice intoned solemnly.

Hawke saw Saint John look back towards Jo. He wondered if they were remembering their own vows; just as he was remembering the vows he had taken.

The priest called for the rings and Chris produced them with an air of ceremony and a wide grin.

Mike placed his ring on Sarah's finger with a kiss; she placed hers on his.

Caitlin sighed and leaned into him; one hand over her belly where their child grew. He slid his own hand over hers.

'You may kiss the bride.'

Mike clasped Sarah's veil and kissed her with a reverence that Hawke recognised all too well. Mike was head over heels in love with his sister, he realised; just as he was head over heels in love with his wife.

The bells pealed out above them and as Mike and Sarah raced back down the aisle, Hawke turned to Caitlin.

'I love you.'

Caitlin smiled at him. He rarely said the words and she treasured when he did. 'I love you too.'

They stepped out of the church and into the sunshine. Hawke looked at his gathered family; at Michael and Marella; at his brothers and sister; at his parents; at Caitlin and their children. He looked across towards the cemetery and thought for a moment he had glimpsed a flash of blue and red; of Dom...

Something in him shifted and settled. He had love; he had his family; he could stop running, stop pushing them away, stop fearing that he would be left alone again.

Hawke raised his face to the warmth of the sun; the blue of the sky. He had his happy ever after...and now he just had to live it...

fin.


End file.
